Welcome back to Reading the Research, where I trawl the Internet to find noteworthy research on autism and related subjects, then discuss it in brief with bits from my own life, research, and observations.
Today's article addresses bullying, especially the more hidden type: sibling bullying. It's well known, at this point, that autistic people tend to be bullied much more than our neurotypical peers. The Japanese proverb goes, "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down." It applies very strongly to autistic people, and it's especially obvious as children.
Usually, when bullying is brought up, it's in regards to the school system, or the playground. This isn't surprising, it's where a lot of socialization and interaction happens. Thing is, the interactions don't stop when you go home. Particularly when siblings come into the mix.
It's not easy being the sibling of an autistic person. Often, the autistic person has higher care needs than the other siblings, and therefore the parents spend more time on the autistic child than the others. This can cause jealousy, hurt, and sadness. The differing expectations parents may hold for their different children can also be a source of strain and frustration.
This is, of course, in addition to the autistic person's differences in interactions, responses, and interests. Siblings who share interests may play together, but autistic peoples' interests can be so deeply focused, or so unusual, that it's hard for others to enjoy them, or even share them. This was mostly the case with my brother and me, though some of that might also be explained by the five-and-a-half-year age difference.
So in the end, you have a lot of potential strain on the family relationships. This can lead to bad behavior, such as bullying. In addition, the autistic child may not know or understand that bullying is not an appropriate behavior, so once learned, they may perpetuate the cycle of cruelty.
A home is supposed to be a place of safety and support, so that even if school is a nightmare, at least home is a refuge and a place to be yourself. It's kind of horrifying to me to even consider how my life might have gone if my brother had been more adversarial about our relationship. Even just imagining having siblings closer in age that teamed up regularly to make my life harder would probably have sent me into a lot of poor behavior.
Therefore, I can't stress enough how important Sibshops and similar programs are. Healthier family dynamics mean happier kids, happier parents, and better lives for everyone involved. And hopefully, such programs can head off these situations before they begin, or at least before they snowball into rampant bad behavior.
(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter, which has links and brief comments on studies that were interesting, but didn't get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)
Today's article addresses bullying, especially the more hidden type: sibling bullying. It's well known, at this point, that autistic people tend to be bullied much more than our neurotypical peers. The Japanese proverb goes, "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down." It applies very strongly to autistic people, and it's especially obvious as children.
Usually, when bullying is brought up, it's in regards to the school system, or the playground. This isn't surprising, it's where a lot of socialization and interaction happens. Thing is, the interactions don't stop when you go home. Particularly when siblings come into the mix.
It's not easy being the sibling of an autistic person. Often, the autistic person has higher care needs than the other siblings, and therefore the parents spend more time on the autistic child than the others. This can cause jealousy, hurt, and sadness. The differing expectations parents may hold for their different children can also be a source of strain and frustration.
This is, of course, in addition to the autistic person's differences in interactions, responses, and interests. Siblings who share interests may play together, but autistic peoples' interests can be so deeply focused, or so unusual, that it's hard for others to enjoy them, or even share them. This was mostly the case with my brother and me, though some of that might also be explained by the five-and-a-half-year age difference.
So in the end, you have a lot of potential strain on the family relationships. This can lead to bad behavior, such as bullying. In addition, the autistic child may not know or understand that bullying is not an appropriate behavior, so once learned, they may perpetuate the cycle of cruelty.
A home is supposed to be a place of safety and support, so that even if school is a nightmare, at least home is a refuge and a place to be yourself. It's kind of horrifying to me to even consider how my life might have gone if my brother had been more adversarial about our relationship. Even just imagining having siblings closer in age that teamed up regularly to make my life harder would probably have sent me into a lot of poor behavior.
Therefore, I can't stress enough how important Sibshops and similar programs are. Healthier family dynamics mean happier kids, happier parents, and better lives for everyone involved. And hopefully, such programs can head off these situations before they begin, or at least before they snowball into rampant bad behavior.
(Pst! If you like seeing the latest autism-relevant research, visit my Twitter, which has links and brief comments on studies that were interesting, but didn't get a whole Reading the Research article about them.)
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