Friday, May 7, 2021

Book Review: Asperger's Syndrome: Helping Siblings

(Hey folks, I've moved!  Please find the new site at Wordpress!  This will be one of the last posts on Blogger- I hope you like the new site as much as I do!)

The Visual Guide to Asperger's Syndrome: Helping Siblings, by Alis Rowe, is a plainspoken children's book-sized publication focused on helping parents help siblings of autistic people adjust and thrive.  I found this book in the autism section, not the children's section, but it's pretty clear from the font size and pictures where it's meant to go.  At less than 100 pages in large sized font, it's not a long read. 

I picked it up anyway because this is a vastly under-served and under-recognized need.  There are hundreds, if not thousands of books geared towards educating parents and professionals.  Even books specifically focused on other autistics, often written by the same.  But very little has been done to help siblings of those on the spectrum cope with, say, the resentment of regularly being overlooked in favor of handling the autistic child's special needs.  

Sometimes, in the stress of everything that has to be done to manage the finances, support services, and even themselves, parents miss things.  These things can include their own self-care and wellness, and it can also include making time for doing things with just the sibling(s).  This is entirely understandable- after all, every autistic child is different, so there is no one "do this and everything will be fine" guide.  Children are already challenging, even without factoring in unusual developmental patterns and the need for support services, specialized learning, etc.  

Though all this happens unintentionally, it can be really hard on the neurotypical sibling(s).  Anger, embarrassment, jealousy, and frustration are common.  If autism isn't well-explained to the child, confusion and misunderstandings about why the autistic child is treated differently may result.  

This book tackles the job of pointing out common pitfalls as well as providing answers and suggestions as to how to address each problem.  It lists and addresses specific concerns and feelings a sibling might have, which I thought was useful as well as enlightening.  

One thing I particularly appreciated was that the book spends time explaining the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, which is an exceptionally important concept for family to understand.  For the unfamiliar: tantrums are goal-oriented.  The person throwing the tantrum wants the attention, or wants something (like candy, ice cream, a toy, etc), and when that want is met, the tantrum ends. 

Meltdowns, on the other hand, are a response to overstimulated senses (like loud environments) or other adverse circumstances, and only end when the person has calmed down.  The two behaviors look superficially the same, especially to someone unfamiliar with the person, but should be treated very differently.  


Read This Book If

You're a parent of an autistic child with at least one other, neurotypical child.  This is a tightly focused, easy-to-read book meant to guide parents in helping both their autistic child and their neurotypical child(ren).  It lays out important basics as well as very specific concerns and feelings a sibling might have.  At less than 100 pages and in large, easy-read font, this is a good starting place for a parent to begin with this important, often sidelined, subject.  

1 comment:

  1. I am glad you pointed out that meltdowns are a response to adverse circumstances [other than the sensory world].

    This would be a good thing for siblings to understand.

    ReplyDelete