Tuesday, August 4, 2015

LENS and Life, week of 7/28

Got to see the map today.  My brainwaves are showing a lot more flexibility now, after months of treatment.  This is a good thing, because in the beginning my brainwaves were basically stuck where they were.  Almost no variation.  This is an inexact science, but it's usually not a good thing if you're all one thing and have no ability to adapt.

I'm having trouble with the the consistency bias, I think.  (This entire, nonexhaustive list is interesting).  I don't specifically remember exactly how I thought and felt and acted in college and before, at least not in enough detail to make a decent before/after picture.  So it makes it hard to say, "Why yes, this mental process has shifted for the better, this one has gotten less prominent, this one was all snarled and made me think bad things," etc.  People tell me things have improved- people besides the doctor who administers the LENS.  So that's good, and probably significant.

Unrelatedly, I'm going to Gencon this year.  Last year I had to skip it due to my boy's brother getting married that weekend (horrible timing for me, but I can't snarl too much because they chose the date for the anniversary that they started dating).  Anyway, this year I get to go.  It'll be Chris' first time, so we'll probably have to try and see everything.  We signed up for a lot of seminars on how to run better games, and a few for me on how to market yourself as a writer and be a good writer and succeed and all that.  I'm hoping to come back with some decent ideas.  I'm hoping the tickle in my throat doesn't get worse, though- I'm going to be walking a lot for this convention.  Also carrying heavy things, and brushing elbows with thousands of people.

This would generally be horrifying, given how much people concern and frustrate me on a regular basis, but people at Gencon are all gamers of some form or another.  More than that, they're usually older (20+) gamers, so they love gaming but they've had time to mellow with age and learn manners.  In short, they're overall pretty nice people that share a common interest with me.  If nothing else, that makes all of them more approachable.  It's also interesting to note that often people on the spectrum gravitate to video games and tabletop RPGs, so I'll probably not be the only autistic person in the massive crowds of people.

I expect to be overwhelmed, exhausted, and ready for some quiet by the time the convention is done, but it should be a good experience.  The events I signed up for are mostly free ones, with pay to play game interspersed. 

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