Friday, August 28, 2015

Anxiety in pie charts.



Percentages aside, this is more or less accurate.  I am not really a worrywart.  I do a lot of overthinking.  I spend time being annoyed with my brain for being illogical, and my emotions for being irrational and opaque.  I second-guess and third-guess and fourth-guess, and sometimes just stop guessing and do the first thing that comes to mind so I can stop guessing.  I have trouble sleeping, though some of that's due to my brain not producing enough melatonin.  Working on that.  I used to not be able to make my brain stop, which kept me up a lot at night in my teenage years, though. 

And don't get me started on muscle tension.  When I was in high school, my mom had to take me to the chiropractor's to do something about my shoulders and back.  You could have cracked an egg on my shoulder muscles.  The chiropractor didn't seem too upset, but I had other people, more hobbyists, exclaim over my back, and try to prod the knots out of it.  This, before I'd even hit age 18.  They had to use a machine that zapped my muscles into relaxing before the chiropractor work on me.  ("Zapped" is an oversimplification in the extreme, but it used electricity.  It did not, however, electrocute you.)

I have to add "being unable to think in coherent sentences" to the list of things, because that happens to me right before I go on long car trips. 

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