I think we're down to just doing a single site on my brain at a time forever, now. Had a chat with the doctor about the consistency bias, or the tendency to think you're the same person you always have been. I find it difficult to see changes in myself after months of LENS. I am not precisely an astute observerdespite my best efforts, and being human, I'm subject to the consistency bias.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend, the person who'd have the best chance of noticing any changes, hasn't been over helpful in that regard. I haven't asked in awhile, to be fair, but historically the answer to "think anything's changed about me?" is "errr, maybe?" He has many good characteristics (not the least of which is patience), but perhaps "strong observational skills" is not one of them.
So it came down to talking with my doctor about it. She's usually hesitant to put forth her opinions strongly, or lead me to any conclusions. She seems to prefer to let her work speak for her. But she did note that when I first came into the office complaining that I was frustrated, my face tended to express barely restrained frustration. Now when I come into the office complaining about being frustrated, I smile or am calm and mock the situation. So improvement there.
I also think I'm improving in emotional control. In the past when I've gotten upset with people, it's dragged me down for hours. I now have the option to shrug it off more efficiently, or try to focus on something else. I don't think it's fair to say I never had those options, they're just much easier to use now. The total time I spend upset is down.
I'm getting a lot of practice in not being upset so much, because my circumstances are still not very good at work. I can't wait for audit season to be over.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend, the person who'd have the best chance of noticing any changes, hasn't been over helpful in that regard. I haven't asked in awhile, to be fair, but historically the answer to "think anything's changed about me?" is "errr, maybe?" He has many good characteristics (not the least of which is patience), but perhaps "strong observational skills" is not one of them.
So it came down to talking with my doctor about it. She's usually hesitant to put forth her opinions strongly, or lead me to any conclusions. She seems to prefer to let her work speak for her. But she did note that when I first came into the office complaining that I was frustrated, my face tended to express barely restrained frustration. Now when I come into the office complaining about being frustrated, I smile or am calm and mock the situation. So improvement there.
I also think I'm improving in emotional control. In the past when I've gotten upset with people, it's dragged me down for hours. I now have the option to shrug it off more efficiently, or try to focus on something else. I don't think it's fair to say I never had those options, they're just much easier to use now. The total time I spend upset is down.
I'm getting a lot of practice in not being upset so much, because my circumstances are still not very good at work. I can't wait for audit season to be over.
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