RIP Dairy

It finally happened.  I finally got sufficient amounts of proof that I can't ignore it any more.  I am dairy-sensitive.  (This is different than lactose-intolerant, which is my spouse's problem and involves digestive issues rather than neurological issues.)

Intro/What is this Madness?

Ever since my LENS doctor suggested looking into the gluten free, casein (dairy) free diet, I've been kind of poking at the idea.  Some of the side symptoms of autism, you see, can be made worse by ingesting food dyes, excessive amounts of sugar, gluten, and dairy.  Several of the "my family's experience raising an autistic kid" books talk about improvements made using gluten-free casein-free (GFCF) diets.  It's not that changing the kid's diet "cured their autism" or anything like that.  It was the side effects that improved: anxiety, depression, inattentiveness, sensory issues, cognition speed, etc.  (To some parents, that is autism improving. But that's an entirely different debate.)

Gluten takes a long time to get out of one's system, so I've shelved that as a possibility for if I ever get ambitious.  But dairy is a lot faster.  Dairy can be out of your system in a week or less.  My doctor suggested two weeks, at least, to abstain from consuming any form of dairy.  I tried that, but not scientifically.  I didn't abstain entirely, I just eliminated most types of dairy from my diet, and kept tabs on my mood and such after consuming dairy products.

I'd been noticing a downswing in my mood after eating foods that contain dairy.  I'd figured that was the sugar's fault.  I am very fond of ice cream, but of course ice cream is almost invariably sweetened with sugar or with high fructose corn syrup (HFCS).  And sugar tends to mess with anyone, especially in large amounts.  Given that I already knew my system was sensitive, I tried not to overdo it... and perhaps that's why I'm only figuring this out for sure now.

The Stumbling Blocks

I'd actually cut milk out of my diet awhile ago, preferring almond milk for its longevity in the fridge.  Slightly different taste, but it lasts three times as long?  Never have to taste sour (or souring) milk, and throw out half a container again?  Yes please!

Cheese is harder.  I definitely no longer buy much cheese, but shredded cheese still goes in some foods that we make at home, and comes on a lot of things in restaurants.  We're Americans, most Americans have the European mutation that allows digestion of lactose (milk protein) long beyond the nursing years.  I grew up eating cheese.  I like cheese on my burgers, and I can recognize the individual tastes of swiss, colby, cheddar, muenster, mozzarella, gouda, havarti, and provolone.  If you hand me a cheese platter and some crackers, I will enjoy myself.  At least until later, when apparently all the dairy decides that I have had quite enough fun and it is time to suffer.

Ice cream is mainly my last issue with going dairy-free.  I haven't been impressed with any non-dairy ice creams I've tried, and they're expensive to boot.  Instead, I got pickier about my ice cream.  I stopped buying regular grocery store ice creams, and started only buying Ben and Jerry's.  The stuff is expensive, but it goes on sale every so often, it's Fair Trade, and the Ben and Jerry of the company are highly respectable, moral people for having so much money and a successful business.  They got themselves arrested last year while protesting all the private money in politics in Washington DC.  Also, their ice cream is basically the best stuff on the market.  I kind of couldn't feel bad about only buying their stuff.

The Tipping Point/"Oh, Duh" Moment

I had been having a pretty average day, at least for this part of my life.  Wasn't in a bad mood, wasn't in a good mood, was just kind of "eh, it's fine."  We had cow milk in the fridge, for the first time in a good while.  It's not that I hate milk, is that it goes bad too fast.  But we needed it specifically for a recipe, so I got a quart of it.  That wasn't much, we could probably go through it, I figured.  He used his bit for the recipe, which left more than half the container... so this afternoon, I made myself some mac'n'cheese, and used some of the cow milk.  And before that, I drank a bit to make sure it was still good.

It tasted fine, and wasn't souring.  But an hour later, I was in a foul mood, my limbs felt weak and shaky, and my stomach seemed upset.  Not "you're going to hurl, get to the bathroom now" upset, but definitely unpleased with me.  I had been ignoring the symptoms as they came on, reading a book for my next Friday entry, until suddenly I noticed it all at once.  And recognized, of course, that this was highly abnormal for the situation.  

You see, I had no stressful events coming up for the rest of the day.  I'd done everything that was on my plate and was working ahead, which tends to put me in a more satisfied state.  The book I was reading was interesting, even slightly pleasant.  Yet somehow I was now angry, sick, and shakily-weak.   

So I began looking backward, comparing the sensations to previous sensations I'd had after eating cheese and ice cream... and it seemed about right.  I suspect milk produces the strongest reaction, being relatively unprocessed.  But cheese and ice cream both had also set me off in a similar way, muted perhaps by the other ingredients they'd been mixed with.  

More or less, I accidentally did what's called a food challenge in allergy testing.  You eliminate the questionable food from your diet for a couple weeks, then give a moderate dosage and record the results.  If you don't see anything different, that food is probably safe for you.  If you do have a reaction, physiological or neurological, you then know that food is not your friend.  

This type of dietary experimentation has been covered in at least three of the books I've reviewed, but I suppose I was never willing to commit to not eating cheese and ice cream, purposefully, long enough to actually do it.  Hence it happening on accident instead.  

Well Crap, Now What?

Well...  I can definitely stop buying cheese.  I'm not sure I can stop consuming cheese entirely.  Right now, there's a whole batch of freezer burritos in the freezer that I am flatly unwilling to chuck out simply because they contain shredded cheese.  I can, I suppose, use up the last of the cheese slices in my refrigerator on bison burgers today and then commit to not buying more.  

I'm going to need to think up something to put on sandwiches instead of cheese, though.  Apparently my generation likes avocados a lot, on everything, but I never really got into that.  I guess maybe pesto?  Except that has cheese in it too.  Not a lot, though, and maybe I can just find a recipe that's just almonds, olive oil, basil, lemon zest, and... I guess just skip the grated parmesan or romano cheese...  Or maybe there's some kind of alternative.  I'll need to do more research.

I don't know what to do about the fancy cheese shop in town, though.  Their staffpeople are very sweet and let you try a lot of different samples to get a sense for the various kinds of cheese.  Do you know how many kinds of cheese they have?  It's over 100 different kinds.  That includes my favorite cheese in existence right now, a sharp cheddar with protein crystals and an utterly delicious taste.  It is basically the best on crackers.  And sandwiches.  And... basically anywhere you put it.  I don't go to that shop often, but it's definitely going to be asking a lot to simply... give up all the dizzying varieties of cheese they have.

Maybe I won't have to, entirely.  They have goat cheese, which I've always thought was very strong-flavored and gross.  But they also have sheep cheese, which might not have casein in it.  I'll have to check with my doctor.  Or do another, more purposeful food challenge, I guess. 

Happily, it seems like I can still capitalize on the ice cream snobbery I cultivated over the last year.  I did a bit of research for this post, and it seems Ben and Jerry's has developed almond milk ice cream.  I don't think I've seen it in my local grocery store, but perhaps I simply haven't looked hard enough.  I still shouldn't be eating tons of it, since I need to lose weight and I somehow doubt this stuff will be calorie-free as well as dairy-free.  But it's at least promising.  And it's vegan, which is kind of amazing.  I have no doubts it will still be good ice cream, though.  It's Ben and Jerry's.  I literally can't imagine them marketing a bad product. 

Gluten..?

The question about gluten still remains, of course.  Gluten and casein apparently have very similar structures, which means the body can sometimes treat them the same.  Especially overly sensitive systems like mine.  I think I'm still going to shelve the question for a few months, at least.  Gluten not only can take months to get out of your system, it's in so so so much stuff.  I recognize that bread isn't the only food in the world, but I actually don't love rice that much, quinoa is expensive, and a lot of the "ancient grain" products are just mixed right in with more gluten-containing grains.

Also, my father may have nicknamed me "The Bread Girl" growing up because I like bread so much...  

Basically, it's a can of worms I am super not interested in opening up right now.  Trying to make sure I go dairy-free is going to be hard enough.  I think it'll do me good, and it will definitely do Chris good, since his intestines rebel when he eats dairy products (he has a big box of lactase supplements for when he has to eat cheese and other dairy products).  

I'm just... starting to get to the point in the grocery store where I end up looking past entire aisles of food, whole sections dismissed as "irrelevant and/or blatantly harmful."  And having all those possibilities was one of the things I really liked about grocery shopping.  Now almost everything is calculated risks, off limits, or "use sparingly."  I have so few pleasures in life, it's really hard to see this happening more and more.  If gluten turns out to aggravate my system too, it's going to be even worse.  I don't think I can handle that right now.