A fellow adult on the spectrum linked me to this article: Autism and Social Reciprocity
The author doesn't provide an example of the textured glass pictures they so hate, but I've located one so more visual type people can more easily understand.
So the glass, as the author explains, is meant to symbolize autism, with the autistic child being trapped behind it, waiting to be broken free of the "prison." That's the start and end of that visual metaphor. Lacking the emotional reaction that most autistic adults have to this particular image type, I'm more inclined to redefine it, rather than reject it out of hand.
The author of this article talks about how their difficulties as an autistic person were always assumed to be their fault. Because we're the ones acting out, we're the ones attracting the attention, and seeing is believing. When a kid throws a tantrum in the store, you don't look upwards to see if the lights are flickering or listen intently to hear if there's something setting them off, you look at them and assume it's either their fault for being spoiled or their parents' fault for not disciplining them. Please note: when it comes to autistic children, that line of thinking is stupid.
Nobody chooses to be behind textured glass. I wasn't handed a neat little card with checkboxes to indicate that I wanted to be autistic, depressed, anxious, and have sensory issues of various types. That's how things ended up, and in truth, they make me who I am now, but I certainly had no choice in the matter. No one does.
So if I may, that textured glass? If that's autism and other conditions, it's as much muddling up your view of us as it muddles up our views of you. The research quoted by the author of this article speaks pretty plainly, as does the endless parade of our experiences of rejection. Sure, we absolutely have problems of various stripes, and that makes it difficult (sometimes impossible) to communicate effectively, but it takes two people to have a conversation. You have to meet us halfway there, but if that meta-study is to be believed, most people won't. We're just too different, too strange, too... not-like-you.
Which is kind of awful, if you think about it, given that a major part of autism is the lack of social skills. You can learn social skills, but it takes lots of practice. So all those people that avoid us and people like us? They're just making the problem worse. By withholding those crucial opportunities to learn and grow, by alienating us from society further, they're only thickening that textured glass. They are, effectively, warping our very personhood in the name of their personal biases.
Those pictures with the textured glass and the child trapped behind them miss part of the picture. The viewer, there behind the fourth wall, can't see the child properly either.
The other point I wanted to mention with this article was the great value of computers and the Internet. This author was socially unacceptable for most of their formative years. They were bullied, threatened, alienated, and ostracized. People were unstintingly cruel and vicious to them. But still, they wanted to be connected to other people. Despite all that awfulness, they wanted friends.
Textual communication was the social breakthrough for the author, and the research they linked shows the same thing. It's only when we write and type what we think and feel that people stop handicapping us. BBSes, instant messaging, texting, forums, and email are all equal footing for us.
Is it any wonder then, that I found my first real friend on an IRC channel?
My point is that while there is plenty to be said for the value of face to face interactions and gaining the practice and knowledge needed in that way, it would be foolish to write off the Internet as a valuable tool. If there was a park within walking distance of your home, where we could go and not feel out of place and excluded, would you blame us for wanting to live there? We'd have to be insane to not want that chance.
Which isn't to say that it's okay to spend all your waking time in front of the computer, mind. Just that it is neither surprising nor unhealthy to want to spend some of your free time there, given that freedom and equality.
The author doesn't provide an example of the textured glass pictures they so hate, but I've located one so more visual type people can more easily understand.
So the glass, as the author explains, is meant to symbolize autism, with the autistic child being trapped behind it, waiting to be broken free of the "prison." That's the start and end of that visual metaphor. Lacking the emotional reaction that most autistic adults have to this particular image type, I'm more inclined to redefine it, rather than reject it out of hand.
The author of this article talks about how their difficulties as an autistic person were always assumed to be their fault. Because we're the ones acting out, we're the ones attracting the attention, and seeing is believing. When a kid throws a tantrum in the store, you don't look upwards to see if the lights are flickering or listen intently to hear if there's something setting them off, you look at them and assume it's either their fault for being spoiled or their parents' fault for not disciplining them. Please note: when it comes to autistic children, that line of thinking is stupid.
Nobody chooses to be behind textured glass. I wasn't handed a neat little card with checkboxes to indicate that I wanted to be autistic, depressed, anxious, and have sensory issues of various types. That's how things ended up, and in truth, they make me who I am now, but I certainly had no choice in the matter. No one does.
So if I may, that textured glass? If that's autism and other conditions, it's as much muddling up your view of us as it muddles up our views of you. The research quoted by the author of this article speaks pretty plainly, as does the endless parade of our experiences of rejection. Sure, we absolutely have problems of various stripes, and that makes it difficult (sometimes impossible) to communicate effectively, but it takes two people to have a conversation. You have to meet us halfway there, but if that meta-study is to be believed, most people won't. We're just too different, too strange, too... not-like-you.
Which is kind of awful, if you think about it, given that a major part of autism is the lack of social skills. You can learn social skills, but it takes lots of practice. So all those people that avoid us and people like us? They're just making the problem worse. By withholding those crucial opportunities to learn and grow, by alienating us from society further, they're only thickening that textured glass. They are, effectively, warping our very personhood in the name of their personal biases.
Those pictures with the textured glass and the child trapped behind them miss part of the picture. The viewer, there behind the fourth wall, can't see the child properly either.
The other point I wanted to mention with this article was the great value of computers and the Internet. This author was socially unacceptable for most of their formative years. They were bullied, threatened, alienated, and ostracized. People were unstintingly cruel and vicious to them. But still, they wanted to be connected to other people. Despite all that awfulness, they wanted friends.
Textual communication was the social breakthrough for the author, and the research they linked shows the same thing. It's only when we write and type what we think and feel that people stop handicapping us. BBSes, instant messaging, texting, forums, and email are all equal footing for us.
Is it any wonder then, that I found my first real friend on an IRC channel?
My point is that while there is plenty to be said for the value of face to face interactions and gaining the practice and knowledge needed in that way, it would be foolish to write off the Internet as a valuable tool. If there was a park within walking distance of your home, where we could go and not feel out of place and excluded, would you blame us for wanting to live there? We'd have to be insane to not want that chance.
Which isn't to say that it's okay to spend all your waking time in front of the computer, mind. Just that it is neither surprising nor unhealthy to want to spend some of your free time there, given that freedom and equality.
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