http://theoraah.tumblr.com/post/142300214156/understanding-the-spectrum
A friend of mine linked this to me earlier this week, and I thought it was worth sharing since it taught me something. Psychology, at least currently, defines everything (autism included) in spectrums. Specifically, as far as I can tell, straight line spectrums. The author here points out that a spectrum need not be a line, and in some cases is much better off visualized more complexly. Instead, the author pulls out what I can only describe as the color-picker circle in drawing programs.
They list things autism can affect, such as language, motor skills, perception, executive function, and sensory filter. I personally wonder how exhaustive those categories are... I suppose I'll need to do more reading. One thing the author definitely did correctly, though, was to exclude depression and anxiety as part of the color wheel/spectrum. Those categories do apply to a large number of autistic people, but only because being a square peg in a round hole, then getting hammered down by society for not fitting right, is a traumatic thing and has adverse side effects.
You can be anxious about trying to fit in. You can breed anxiety in yourself by constantly trying to make sure you're doing everything "right." You can be depressed because despite all your efforts, you still stick out like a sore thumb. And you can be depressed because people are cruel to you for sticking out like a sore thumb. But autism itself does not directly make you depressed or anxious. It's external forces that make you depressed or anxious, and the more you marinate (live) in them, the more likely you are to internalize them. So even when people are no longer cruel to you, and even when you're fitting in just fine, you're still depressed and anxious.
I find myself wondering where precisely I fit into that color wheel/spectrum. My executive function (ability to keep track of time and plan) has gotten markedly worse over time, even as my anxiety and depression have lifted. My perception is pretty much stuck at crap. I scored in the lowest 5% of humanity for comprehending and integrating visual detail. I'm not entirely crippled; with a bit longer to look and a working knowledge of what to look for and where, I have learned some body language and facial expressions. But my starting point is probably pretty close to center.
Motor skills just makes me laugh. I joke that I have the best "bad balance" in the world. Like my Latin teacher in high school, I can and absolutely will trip over a flat surface. But also like him, I've learned to catch myself very adeptly, so it's rare that my clumsiness makes me fall to the ground. I also started with rather poor manual dexterity/hand eye coordination/fine motor control. Now, after years of practice, I can fold origami cranes and flowers, and they look decent enough. I'll be folding a few hundred for my wedding decorations. My parents also had me play the piano and a couple other instruments, which I can only assume helped as well. I'll rate myself a middle on the motor skills, I guess?
I'll flatter myself and say my command of English is pretty decent, and I can usually get my point across in writing. I'd have to ask someone else to say how good my body language is, but I'm going to guess it's not as good. I recently attended a open microphone night, where people read poetry and sing songs they wrote themselves. The best performers were the ones with very expressive faces, but also hand gestures, shifts in posture, and the like. I can say pretty confidently that I don't measure up. I could perhaps learn, but it's definitely not my natural talent.
Which brings us to sensory filters... I've written on sound sensitivity before. I guess I would say that my position on the sensory filter spectrum deteriorates the more stressed and unhappy I am. Early in the day, I can shrug off loud noises without flinching, but if I've had a hard day, I might jump a foot out of my chair. Sudden or sharp noises will disrupt my train of thought. I'll be conscious of the refrigerator turning on when there is no reason that would be relevant. I also have limited light sensitivity in that strong sunlight can hurt my eyes, but usually I don't have problems.
Recently I realized that I do in fact have touch sensory issues. Temple Grandin talks, sometimes, about how a simple touch on the arm could hurt. I've heard that from a few times from various sources, but it didn't occur to me that I might have that problem, since it's never really been something I noticed. I don't mind hugs, after all. However, sometimes if Chris affectionately strokes my arm, it does actually hurt. Not a lot, so I didn't really notice other than being slightly uncomfortable. But what should be a comforting sensation is too strong, and becomes uncomfortable, to the point of being slightly painful. Between that and being irritatingly ticklish, it can be kind of frustrating.
So to get my position on the sensory filter part of the wheel/spectrum, I guess I'd need to plot and then average my various sensory issues. Or just make a range. Which gets us this!
Yay.
A friend of mine linked this to me earlier this week, and I thought it was worth sharing since it taught me something. Psychology, at least currently, defines everything (autism included) in spectrums. Specifically, as far as I can tell, straight line spectrums. The author here points out that a spectrum need not be a line, and in some cases is much better off visualized more complexly. Instead, the author pulls out what I can only describe as the color-picker circle in drawing programs.
They list things autism can affect, such as language, motor skills, perception, executive function, and sensory filter. I personally wonder how exhaustive those categories are... I suppose I'll need to do more reading. One thing the author definitely did correctly, though, was to exclude depression and anxiety as part of the color wheel/spectrum. Those categories do apply to a large number of autistic people, but only because being a square peg in a round hole, then getting hammered down by society for not fitting right, is a traumatic thing and has adverse side effects.
You can be anxious about trying to fit in. You can breed anxiety in yourself by constantly trying to make sure you're doing everything "right." You can be depressed because despite all your efforts, you still stick out like a sore thumb. And you can be depressed because people are cruel to you for sticking out like a sore thumb. But autism itself does not directly make you depressed or anxious. It's external forces that make you depressed or anxious, and the more you marinate (live) in them, the more likely you are to internalize them. So even when people are no longer cruel to you, and even when you're fitting in just fine, you're still depressed and anxious.
I find myself wondering where precisely I fit into that color wheel/spectrum. My executive function (ability to keep track of time and plan) has gotten markedly worse over time, even as my anxiety and depression have lifted. My perception is pretty much stuck at crap. I scored in the lowest 5% of humanity for comprehending and integrating visual detail. I'm not entirely crippled; with a bit longer to look and a working knowledge of what to look for and where, I have learned some body language and facial expressions. But my starting point is probably pretty close to center.
Motor skills just makes me laugh. I joke that I have the best "bad balance" in the world. Like my Latin teacher in high school, I can and absolutely will trip over a flat surface. But also like him, I've learned to catch myself very adeptly, so it's rare that my clumsiness makes me fall to the ground. I also started with rather poor manual dexterity/hand eye coordination/fine motor control. Now, after years of practice, I can fold origami cranes and flowers, and they look decent enough. I'll be folding a few hundred for my wedding decorations. My parents also had me play the piano and a couple other instruments, which I can only assume helped as well. I'll rate myself a middle on the motor skills, I guess?
I'll flatter myself and say my command of English is pretty decent, and I can usually get my point across in writing. I'd have to ask someone else to say how good my body language is, but I'm going to guess it's not as good. I recently attended a open microphone night, where people read poetry and sing songs they wrote themselves. The best performers were the ones with very expressive faces, but also hand gestures, shifts in posture, and the like. I can say pretty confidently that I don't measure up. I could perhaps learn, but it's definitely not my natural talent.
Which brings us to sensory filters... I've written on sound sensitivity before. I guess I would say that my position on the sensory filter spectrum deteriorates the more stressed and unhappy I am. Early in the day, I can shrug off loud noises without flinching, but if I've had a hard day, I might jump a foot out of my chair. Sudden or sharp noises will disrupt my train of thought. I'll be conscious of the refrigerator turning on when there is no reason that would be relevant. I also have limited light sensitivity in that strong sunlight can hurt my eyes, but usually I don't have problems.
Recently I realized that I do in fact have touch sensory issues. Temple Grandin talks, sometimes, about how a simple touch on the arm could hurt. I've heard that from a few times from various sources, but it didn't occur to me that I might have that problem, since it's never really been something I noticed. I don't mind hugs, after all. However, sometimes if Chris affectionately strokes my arm, it does actually hurt. Not a lot, so I didn't really notice other than being slightly uncomfortable. But what should be a comforting sensation is too strong, and becomes uncomfortable, to the point of being slightly painful. Between that and being irritatingly ticklish, it can be kind of frustrating.
So to get my position on the sensory filter part of the wheel/spectrum, I guess I'd need to plot and then average my various sensory issues. Or just make a range. Which gets us this!
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