Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Frequencies of communication (1/10/15)

I spent a lot of time around people I don't know very well this holiday season.  Not very relaxing.  But it did remind me of an observation I've made about people.  There seems to be a spectrum of frequencies that people communicate over.  This is a personal theory, so it may not be all that scientific or coherent.  Bear with me.

One end of the spectrum is emotions.  Body language, tone of voice, and expressions matter most here.  It's not so much what the person says as how they say it.  The other end is logic.  Word choice is everything on this end, and the other facets serve to support or underline the point.  

To give an example... Let's say Bill really wants to go clothes shopping with Jenny*.  To communicate on emotions, Bill might say, "Jenny, I'd love to go clothes shopping with you.  It'll be fun!"  On the other hand, if Bill was communicating with logic, he might say, "Jenny, let's go clothes shopping.  I'd like your input on my outfits."  The former is interested in Bill's enjoyment of clothes shopping and wanting to share that with Jenny, whereas the latter is more interested in the functionality of Jenny's approval of his clothing choices.  

To decline the offer of accompanying Bill on his shopping trip, Jenny might say, "Oh, I wish I could, but I promised Lisa I'd see her today, and she'll be so mad if I don't."  Or she might say, "I can't right now.  I'm scheduled to see Lisa in a half hour.  Could we go tomorrow?"  Again, the main difference here is the focus.  Jenny expresses regret and the wish to go in the first one, along with an aversion to Lisa's anger.  In the second, Jenny is more focused on the specific details of her schedule.  

I think most people fall between these two points, hence I refer to it as a spectrum.  I've noticed that logic-oriented people seem more detail-oriented and accurate, while emotions-oriented people are more personable and big-picture people.  

If you ever meet me, you'll find I fall very heavily on the logic-oriented side of things.  

*Yes, I did purposely invert this stereotype.  I'm female and hate most kinds of shopping, but I bet there are guys out there that love shopping, and more power to them.  

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