Iris Grace: How Thula the Cat Saved a Little Girl and Her Family is a "my family's story with raising an autistic child" type book. I've read at least a dozen books in the same category at this point, some better than others. Of all of them, this one was probably the most fun to read.
Iris Grace, for those not familiar (like me before I read this book), is a autistic child artist with remarkable talents in impressionistic and watercolor art. Her story has become something of an international success, and her work is kind of gorgeous. You can find the official website for her work and story here.
From reading this book, I would gauge that Iris would qualify as at least "moderately affected" by ASD, which is to say, she has (or had) a lot of barriers to learning to speak, learning how to relax, filtering out excessive noise, dealing with new people, etc. So this is not just another "my kid with Asperger's/High Functioning Autism, and our trip through finding what worked." The book describes Iris' difficulties in detail, and they were extensive. I suspect if you asked my parents, they would tell you I didn't have nearly as hard of a time when I was growing up.
Onto the book. First and foremost, I should point out that the marketing and title is a little disingenuous. While Thula the cat was definitely an important addition to Iris' development and growth, I personally feel the biggest asset to Iris' successful development was her parents The cat, if the book is accurate, is an amazingly sensitive, helpful, responsive therapeutic companion, beyond the ken of most cats. It genuinely cares about Iris, has some of the loyal, hard working traits of a dog, and acts as a service animal. That is a great thing for someone on the autism spectrum.
That said... having a comforting and loyal animal helper is good, but it's not going to teach you social skills, bring you opportunities to try new things, or develop friendships. Those things, her parents had to provide. And provide they did, often by trial and error, and with lots of careful observation, creativity, resources, and patience. From art supplies to animal companionship to carefully-tailored home-schooling, her parents stretched themselves to their emotional limits and beyond, nurturing their daughter's creativity and interests.
But I suppose the book probably wouldn't have sold as well if it had been titled, "Iris Grace: How We Leveraged Our Abundant Love, Patience, Time and Resources to Bring Up a Talented Artist." That would be a more accurate title, given the contents of the book. The family in question is definitely on the "well off" side of things. That fact shouldn't cheapen their efforts in any way, because it's not like they ignored their child and hired help to get around her barriers and disabilities. Both parents were very much involved in Iris' life, personally acting as her teachers, caretakers, therapists, etc. I point out the fact of their wealthiness, however, because if both parents had been working full time jobs outside the house, I suspect Iris' artistic skills would never have developed, or reached such a wide international audience. She would have simply joined the ranks of autistic children relegated to being called, "disobedient, non-communicative problem children."
Looking at the gorgeous and complex interplay of colors in the artwork peppered throughout the book, that would have been a sad loss. Which makes me wonder what talents lie in other non-verbal or low-verbal autistic children and adults, which we're deprived of right now, due to lack of time, understanding, and resources.
Among the things Iris' parents did right was spending a lot of time trying to get into her world, rather than insisting Iris immediately engage their world and assuming that was the only correct way to be a person. Her mother describes experiencing the world through watching Iris engage with it, especially their garden and other outdoor areas.
In addition, they individually tailored her education and social experiences. To the best of my understanding, when looking for a good school system for their kids, most parents simply toss all their kids into the best school system they can find, and call it good. But Iris' difficulties with clothes meant that none of the schools in the area would work. The school uniform was required, they said, and assured the parents that any difficulties would be handled. Uncertain that this was a good plan her parents took it upon themselves to homeschool her, wracking their brains to align her interests (cats, outdoors, art, etc) with the required subjects for an education (math, science, reading, writing, etc). When there was no social group (children's club) that would meet Iris' growing social needs, they made one themselves and hosted it at their own home.
They also didn't try to push Iris too hard at once. They did put her into new situations and try new things, but they were always ready to call it quits if it proved too difficult. There was always a place for her to go and relax, or items of comfort to help her cope with the uncertainties and unpredictability of life. This is very important for people on the spectrum. We always need a Square One, a safe place or person to rely on. Sometimes we need a lot of Square Ones, depending on how complex our lives are.
In an ideal world, every autistic child would have this level of care and attention paid to their needs and interests. I hope that some day this will be the case. In the meantime, it's heartening to read this story of parents that faced the trials of having an autistic child together, gave it their all, and found that in the end, their child faced her difficulties and surpassed their expectations.
Iris Grace, for those not familiar (like me before I read this book), is a autistic child artist with remarkable talents in impressionistic and watercolor art. Her story has become something of an international success, and her work is kind of gorgeous. You can find the official website for her work and story here.
From reading this book, I would gauge that Iris would qualify as at least "moderately affected" by ASD, which is to say, she has (or had) a lot of barriers to learning to speak, learning how to relax, filtering out excessive noise, dealing with new people, etc. So this is not just another "my kid with Asperger's/High Functioning Autism, and our trip through finding what worked." The book describes Iris' difficulties in detail, and they were extensive. I suspect if you asked my parents, they would tell you I didn't have nearly as hard of a time when I was growing up.
Onto the book. First and foremost, I should point out that the marketing and title is a little disingenuous. While Thula the cat was definitely an important addition to Iris' development and growth, I personally feel the biggest asset to Iris' successful development was her parents The cat, if the book is accurate, is an amazingly sensitive, helpful, responsive therapeutic companion, beyond the ken of most cats. It genuinely cares about Iris, has some of the loyal, hard working traits of a dog, and acts as a service animal. That is a great thing for someone on the autism spectrum.
That said... having a comforting and loyal animal helper is good, but it's not going to teach you social skills, bring you opportunities to try new things, or develop friendships. Those things, her parents had to provide. And provide they did, often by trial and error, and with lots of careful observation, creativity, resources, and patience. From art supplies to animal companionship to carefully-tailored home-schooling, her parents stretched themselves to their emotional limits and beyond, nurturing their daughter's creativity and interests.
But I suppose the book probably wouldn't have sold as well if it had been titled, "Iris Grace: How We Leveraged Our Abundant Love, Patience, Time and Resources to Bring Up a Talented Artist." That would be a more accurate title, given the contents of the book. The family in question is definitely on the "well off" side of things. That fact shouldn't cheapen their efforts in any way, because it's not like they ignored their child and hired help to get around her barriers and disabilities. Both parents were very much involved in Iris' life, personally acting as her teachers, caretakers, therapists, etc. I point out the fact of their wealthiness, however, because if both parents had been working full time jobs outside the house, I suspect Iris' artistic skills would never have developed, or reached such a wide international audience. She would have simply joined the ranks of autistic children relegated to being called, "disobedient, non-communicative problem children."
Looking at the gorgeous and complex interplay of colors in the artwork peppered throughout the book, that would have been a sad loss. Which makes me wonder what talents lie in other non-verbal or low-verbal autistic children and adults, which we're deprived of right now, due to lack of time, understanding, and resources.
Among the things Iris' parents did right was spending a lot of time trying to get into her world, rather than insisting Iris immediately engage their world and assuming that was the only correct way to be a person. Her mother describes experiencing the world through watching Iris engage with it, especially their garden and other outdoor areas.
In addition, they individually tailored her education and social experiences. To the best of my understanding, when looking for a good school system for their kids, most parents simply toss all their kids into the best school system they can find, and call it good. But Iris' difficulties with clothes meant that none of the schools in the area would work. The school uniform was required, they said, and assured the parents that any difficulties would be handled. Uncertain that this was a good plan her parents took it upon themselves to homeschool her, wracking their brains to align her interests (cats, outdoors, art, etc) with the required subjects for an education (math, science, reading, writing, etc). When there was no social group (children's club) that would meet Iris' growing social needs, they made one themselves and hosted it at their own home.
They also didn't try to push Iris too hard at once. They did put her into new situations and try new things, but they were always ready to call it quits if it proved too difficult. There was always a place for her to go and relax, or items of comfort to help her cope with the uncertainties and unpredictability of life. This is very important for people on the spectrum. We always need a Square One, a safe place or person to rely on. Sometimes we need a lot of Square Ones, depending on how complex our lives are.
In an ideal world, every autistic child would have this level of care and attention paid to their needs and interests. I hope that some day this will be the case. In the meantime, it's heartening to read this story of parents that faced the trials of having an autistic child together, gave it their all, and found that in the end, their child faced her difficulties and surpassed their expectations.
Read This Book If
You like uplifting stories, want a good example of how to work with an autistic child successfully, or love a good "people and animals are better together" story. This is a very optimistic book, and an insightfully descriptive one. Very approachable, very easy to understand. Throughout the book are pictures of Iris as she grew, cute little illustrations, and prints of some of Iris' artistic work, which is gorgeous. A delightful change of pace from the dreary pessimism and weakness-focused stories that usually grace my library's shelves.
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