I woke up this morning to Chris' work alarm, and then again, about 45 minutes later, disappointed. It wasn't really an auspicious beginning to my 29th birthday. As I got up, I tried to decide why that was. I hadn't gone to bed upset, and I'd slept reasonably well. Nothing majorly disappointing had occurred overnight or just yet in the morning.
I sifted around through my previous thoughts on the subject: that birthdays are a huge deal when you're little, with no effort on your part, but when you grow up you have to make them a huge deal or they'll slip right by without much notice. But that didn't seem like enough to trigger this disappointment, since that's how it's been for a decade. I thought about the fact that this month has been rushed and messy and full of travel, and so I hadn't been able to update my wishlists as much as I'd've liked. But my wishlists still have things I want on them, so that doesn't seem sufficient.
Finally, I landed on what I assume is the problem: this birthday, I don't have a small pile of presents or envelopes to open alone, as a sort of "good morning, it's your birthday" celebration. It was my last tribute to the days when birthdays involved a small pile of presents and everyone pointedly caring about you in person, I suppose. I hadn't realized it was so important to me. So maybe next year if I get presents ahead of time, I'll make sure to save them.
This lack of envelopes and the occasional present is not because everyone forgot me, though likely a few cards will be late, as they usually are. It's because we stopped our mail when we went out on the last trip, and nothing has arrived since. Chris thinks they'll just bring it all to us now that they're clear to deliver again, but I recall having to go to the post office and pick it all up every time I've seen that done. So later today, when I go out for LENS (therapy), I'll stop by the nearest post office and inevitably be told to go visit a different post office because the post system is weird.
It being the day it is, though, very few people will bat an eye at what I'll be wearing. I intend to go out in a Tshirt and jeans... but overtop the normal clothes will be my chainmail vest, my black faux-velvet cloak, my black leather bracers, one of my chainmail wrist cuffs, and my chainmail circlet, which has a crystal hanging from it. It'll be a sight to see, but with it being Halloween, very few people will care.
In the meantime, it's not like people forgot me. Actually, the uncle and aunt we visited on our last trip snagged "first birthday present of the year" about 5 days early. When we gave my uncle a birthday present, they promptly handed me mine, which I opened after some prompting. Rather thoughtfully of them, it was one of the books I'd reviewed for this blog, and one of the few I'd mentioned wanting to have afterwards.
In addition, my spouse set aside some money for a special experience at the end of our last trip to CT. The last hotel room we stayed in came with a jacuzzi/hot tub right in the room. We got there relatively early, got dinner, took showers, and then relaxed in the hot water and jets for like an hour. I used to love having baths, but now that I have to clean the tub myself, and my skin does this weird caking-on-thing to the sides of the tub, it's not as much fun. Also, most tubs are too small for me to really relax. This tub was big, and I didn't have to clean it, so it was pretty nice. I woke up early the next day to use it one more time before we went back home for the day.
Also, my parents have kindly offered to take me out to dinner at a restaurant I've been wanting to try. It's an old world British pub, recommended to me by a fellow food-lover friend. It's across the city and a bit pricey, so Chris and I hadn't made it there yet. After dinner, Chris and I will go home for a bit to relax, but that won't be the end of the day. The day won't end until well after midnight, because a friend of mine is being a sweetheart and hosting a movie night. It's a movie I've been looking forward to seeing, but hadn't had time to do so just yet, so that's exciting.
Finally, it seems like Michigan itself has decided my birthday required special notice, because it is now snowing for the first time this season. Not hard, thankfully. Just enough to coat the tops of cars and buildings with white. Between the fall colors on the trees and the snow-icing, it's kind of pretty. I'll try to enjoy driving through it on my way to therapy and such today.
It's probably odd to have therapy on your birthday, but I don't really mind. The therapy is kind of part of the reason I can enjoy parts of my life now, so getting my brain bolstered for the movie and the dinner out in a new place and such seems like a good plan. I'm trying not to do things I don't like today, just to see what things I end up avoiding and what things I end up doing. Usually I don't differentiate because stuff has to get done, but this will probably be an instructive experiment.
I sifted around through my previous thoughts on the subject: that birthdays are a huge deal when you're little, with no effort on your part, but when you grow up you have to make them a huge deal or they'll slip right by without much notice. But that didn't seem like enough to trigger this disappointment, since that's how it's been for a decade. I thought about the fact that this month has been rushed and messy and full of travel, and so I hadn't been able to update my wishlists as much as I'd've liked. But my wishlists still have things I want on them, so that doesn't seem sufficient.
Finally, I landed on what I assume is the problem: this birthday, I don't have a small pile of presents or envelopes to open alone, as a sort of "good morning, it's your birthday" celebration. It was my last tribute to the days when birthdays involved a small pile of presents and everyone pointedly caring about you in person, I suppose. I hadn't realized it was so important to me. So maybe next year if I get presents ahead of time, I'll make sure to save them.
This lack of envelopes and the occasional present is not because everyone forgot me, though likely a few cards will be late, as they usually are. It's because we stopped our mail when we went out on the last trip, and nothing has arrived since. Chris thinks they'll just bring it all to us now that they're clear to deliver again, but I recall having to go to the post office and pick it all up every time I've seen that done. So later today, when I go out for LENS (therapy), I'll stop by the nearest post office and inevitably be told to go visit a different post office because the post system is weird.
It being the day it is, though, very few people will bat an eye at what I'll be wearing. I intend to go out in a Tshirt and jeans... but overtop the normal clothes will be my chainmail vest, my black faux-velvet cloak, my black leather bracers, one of my chainmail wrist cuffs, and my chainmail circlet, which has a crystal hanging from it. It'll be a sight to see, but with it being Halloween, very few people will care.
In the meantime, it's not like people forgot me. Actually, the uncle and aunt we visited on our last trip snagged "first birthday present of the year" about 5 days early. When we gave my uncle a birthday present, they promptly handed me mine, which I opened after some prompting. Rather thoughtfully of them, it was one of the books I'd reviewed for this blog, and one of the few I'd mentioned wanting to have afterwards.
In addition, my spouse set aside some money for a special experience at the end of our last trip to CT. The last hotel room we stayed in came with a jacuzzi/hot tub right in the room. We got there relatively early, got dinner, took showers, and then relaxed in the hot water and jets for like an hour. I used to love having baths, but now that I have to clean the tub myself, and my skin does this weird caking-on-thing to the sides of the tub, it's not as much fun. Also, most tubs are too small for me to really relax. This tub was big, and I didn't have to clean it, so it was pretty nice. I woke up early the next day to use it one more time before we went back home for the day.
Also, my parents have kindly offered to take me out to dinner at a restaurant I've been wanting to try. It's an old world British pub, recommended to me by a fellow food-lover friend. It's across the city and a bit pricey, so Chris and I hadn't made it there yet. After dinner, Chris and I will go home for a bit to relax, but that won't be the end of the day. The day won't end until well after midnight, because a friend of mine is being a sweetheart and hosting a movie night. It's a movie I've been looking forward to seeing, but hadn't had time to do so just yet, so that's exciting.
Finally, it seems like Michigan itself has decided my birthday required special notice, because it is now snowing for the first time this season. Not hard, thankfully. Just enough to coat the tops of cars and buildings with white. Between the fall colors on the trees and the snow-icing, it's kind of pretty. I'll try to enjoy driving through it on my way to therapy and such today.
It's probably odd to have therapy on your birthday, but I don't really mind. The therapy is kind of part of the reason I can enjoy parts of my life now, so getting my brain bolstered for the movie and the dinner out in a new place and such seems like a good plan. I'm trying not to do things I don't like today, just to see what things I end up avoiding and what things I end up doing. Usually I don't differentiate because stuff has to get done, but this will probably be an instructive experiment.
No comments:
Post a Comment