The transition between high school and adult life is almost inevitably a difficult one for autistic people and their families. The question of college, trade school, or job is a difficult one for neurotypical young adults, and when you mix in autism, it becomes exponentially more complicated.
The assumed pathway, at the time I was growing up, was that you went from high school to college. That was what was expected, and it was what I did. But many autistic people who do this find they are ill-prepared for that transition. A lot of those people return home, feeling like massive failures as people, and like their lives are ruined forever.
Why does this happen? Well... Part of it is that our schools aren't teaching us the day-to-day skills necessary for being a functional adult. Things like what laws your country has, how money works, how to vote and register to vote, and how to make a budget. Have a well-made song that covers this subject admirably. I have no idea if the performer here is autistic or neurodiverse in any way, but he's absolutely right.
Something he doesn't cover, by the way, is the loss of art, music, technical, and theater programs in favor of ever-more academics and sports. Though by the video, I'd bet he'd have an earful about it. The point of school is to give you broad base, required and everyday knowledge and introduce you to all sorts of interesting subjects so you can choose for yourself what things you want to study or make a career out of. Removing these programs ensures that the only path forward autistic (and neurotypical) people will see is college.
What's the problem with that? Well, not everyone needs or wants to go to college, first and foremost. Continuing your education is excellent, but if you love cars and excel at taking apart and putting together engines and machines, you hardly need to go to 4 year college to find out you'll make a great car repair person. The fact is, not all special interests align with a college education, and no one should be forced to shoulder the lifetime of debt that comes with that education.
This is particularly true of people on the spectrum whose opportunities are more limited due to communication difficulties, chronic health problems, intellectual disabilities, and other factors. Just because these people don't care to go to a standard 4 year college, or wouldn't be able to get through it, doesn't mean they can't have happy lives. It's just that our definition of a happy life may look a lot different than "high school -> college -> marriage -> house -> kids." Deviating from this pattern seems incomprehensible to many parents, but why should it be? Autistic people can have strong interests and derive a lot of joy from them. Why can't we have lives based around those? It's certainly possible, as this article by one happily surprised parent shows.
I read somewhere that "the grand essentials for happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." I think this is probably true, assuming basic needs (food, water, shelter, etc) are met. Maybe a bit simplistic, but it seems accurate enough. Without something to do, you feel like you're wasting your life.
A job can fill this criterion, assuming it's not actively making your miserable. But it doesn't need to be a paying job if that's not feasible: volunteer work is also a way to use one's efforts, and sadly, it's the most accessible work for autistic people. But it can lead to paying work, also. The volunteer may do such a good job, and make it known that they would like to be hired, that the organization chooses to hire them. Volunteer work also lets you learn new skills that you might otherwise not have ever picked up, which can then be applied to other parts of your life, or even other jobs.
The something to love is a bit harder. "Something" does not need to be a significant other, or a romantic partner. It can be your family, for example, or a group of friends. It can also be a pet. Support animals are popping up more and more as ADA-sheltered accommodations. The responsibility of supporting an animal can also be good for peoples' wellbeing. They're a lot less complicated than people, and often much less judgemental. Your cat does not care if you're autistic, and your dog loves you regardless of whether you look and act "normal." Other kinds of animals can be helpful in this way, too.
I'm not sure if I'd term my childhood pet corn snake as a support animal. I do hear snakes can be affectionate, but I don't think mine was. Dogs are much better at being lovable, and cats too, somewhat. I've also heard of pet rats being affectionate, as well as ferrets, hedgehogs, and of course birds (especially parrots and macaws). Any of these animals could serve an autistic person or person with other disabilities well, by providing a friendly, non-judgemental companion for us to talk to and be with.
At least with autism, you can definitely make an argument for the "something to love" being a special interest, too. Our passions can be all-consuming, and that can be good. It can lead to a job, or to volunteer work and meeting people. Some parents decide their autistic children's passions are distracting them from the demands of life, and work to undermine them and keep their children away from them, in hopes that the interest will fade. This is remarkably shortsighted unless the interest is directly dangerous. It's better for everyone if the passion is worked into the demands of life. Schoolwork can be phrased in terms of comic book heroes, and animals or computers or classic books made into jobs (vet tech/animal shelter volunteer, home tech support and repair services, and librarian/library volunteer, respectively).
Something to hope for is naturally the hardest. Peoples' goals vary immensely. With the stress of raising an autistic child and running a family, I feel like parents tend to miss or overlook their children's goals. Don't assume that a person doesn't have goals, just because they haven't communicated them to you. A goal might be as complicated as, "I would like to get married, have children, and live in my own home," or as simple as, "I would like some privacy for an hour every day to engage in my hobbies." As much as is possible, it should be a priority to help autistic people achieve our goals. Even if those goals don't line up with what society (or you personally) prescribe. Perhaps especially if that's the case. We are unusual people, destined to lead unusual lives. Help us lead to way for others to do the same.
The assumed pathway, at the time I was growing up, was that you went from high school to college. That was what was expected, and it was what I did. But many autistic people who do this find they are ill-prepared for that transition. A lot of those people return home, feeling like massive failures as people, and like their lives are ruined forever.
Why does this happen? Well... Part of it is that our schools aren't teaching us the day-to-day skills necessary for being a functional adult. Things like what laws your country has, how money works, how to vote and register to vote, and how to make a budget. Have a well-made song that covers this subject admirably. I have no idea if the performer here is autistic or neurodiverse in any way, but he's absolutely right.
Something he doesn't cover, by the way, is the loss of art, music, technical, and theater programs in favor of ever-more academics and sports. Though by the video, I'd bet he'd have an earful about it. The point of school is to give you broad base, required and everyday knowledge and introduce you to all sorts of interesting subjects so you can choose for yourself what things you want to study or make a career out of. Removing these programs ensures that the only path forward autistic (and neurotypical) people will see is college.
What's the problem with that? Well, not everyone needs or wants to go to college, first and foremost. Continuing your education is excellent, but if you love cars and excel at taking apart and putting together engines and machines, you hardly need to go to 4 year college to find out you'll make a great car repair person. The fact is, not all special interests align with a college education, and no one should be forced to shoulder the lifetime of debt that comes with that education.
This is particularly true of people on the spectrum whose opportunities are more limited due to communication difficulties, chronic health problems, intellectual disabilities, and other factors. Just because these people don't care to go to a standard 4 year college, or wouldn't be able to get through it, doesn't mean they can't have happy lives. It's just that our definition of a happy life may look a lot different than "high school -> college -> marriage -> house -> kids." Deviating from this pattern seems incomprehensible to many parents, but why should it be? Autistic people can have strong interests and derive a lot of joy from them. Why can't we have lives based around those? It's certainly possible, as this article by one happily surprised parent shows.
I read somewhere that "the grand essentials for happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." I think this is probably true, assuming basic needs (food, water, shelter, etc) are met. Maybe a bit simplistic, but it seems accurate enough. Without something to do, you feel like you're wasting your life.
A job can fill this criterion, assuming it's not actively making your miserable. But it doesn't need to be a paying job if that's not feasible: volunteer work is also a way to use one's efforts, and sadly, it's the most accessible work for autistic people. But it can lead to paying work, also. The volunteer may do such a good job, and make it known that they would like to be hired, that the organization chooses to hire them. Volunteer work also lets you learn new skills that you might otherwise not have ever picked up, which can then be applied to other parts of your life, or even other jobs.
The something to love is a bit harder. "Something" does not need to be a significant other, or a romantic partner. It can be your family, for example, or a group of friends. It can also be a pet. Support animals are popping up more and more as ADA-sheltered accommodations. The responsibility of supporting an animal can also be good for peoples' wellbeing. They're a lot less complicated than people, and often much less judgemental. Your cat does not care if you're autistic, and your dog loves you regardless of whether you look and act "normal." Other kinds of animals can be helpful in this way, too.
I'm not sure if I'd term my childhood pet corn snake as a support animal. I do hear snakes can be affectionate, but I don't think mine was. Dogs are much better at being lovable, and cats too, somewhat. I've also heard of pet rats being affectionate, as well as ferrets, hedgehogs, and of course birds (especially parrots and macaws). Any of these animals could serve an autistic person or person with other disabilities well, by providing a friendly, non-judgemental companion for us to talk to and be with.
At least with autism, you can definitely make an argument for the "something to love" being a special interest, too. Our passions can be all-consuming, and that can be good. It can lead to a job, or to volunteer work and meeting people. Some parents decide their autistic children's passions are distracting them from the demands of life, and work to undermine them and keep their children away from them, in hopes that the interest will fade. This is remarkably shortsighted unless the interest is directly dangerous. It's better for everyone if the passion is worked into the demands of life. Schoolwork can be phrased in terms of comic book heroes, and animals or computers or classic books made into jobs (vet tech/animal shelter volunteer, home tech support and repair services, and librarian/library volunteer, respectively).
Something to hope for is naturally the hardest. Peoples' goals vary immensely. With the stress of raising an autistic child and running a family, I feel like parents tend to miss or overlook their children's goals. Don't assume that a person doesn't have goals, just because they haven't communicated them to you. A goal might be as complicated as, "I would like to get married, have children, and live in my own home," or as simple as, "I would like some privacy for an hour every day to engage in my hobbies." As much as is possible, it should be a priority to help autistic people achieve our goals. Even if those goals don't line up with what society (or you personally) prescribe. Perhaps especially if that's the case. We are unusual people, destined to lead unusual lives. Help us lead to way for others to do the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment