Well, I feel tired and burnt out, which is the opposite of how you're supposed to feel after a weekend. Especially a long weekend. That's not very good, and I'm not entirely sure what's going on... but I suspect I'm going to be the last person to realize why, because that's how these things tend to work. People really close to the problem usually have more trouble seeing it.
My current mood and incredible lack of energy aside, my week wasn't terrible. On Wednesday, I picked up my mother from the airport and spent some hours with her. She was in town, along with an uncle and aunt, for some family event I wasn't involved in. It was actually terrible timing, my period had just hit and I tend to be miserable the first couple days, but I rarely see my mother. So I bucked up and we had a decent time. Then there was dinner out with my grandmother and the visiting family. It was, over all, a nice dinner. The food was decent and my mother found something she could eat, which is tough for her on her specialized diet. She even seemed to like it.
I did find out that I am, in fact, somewhat light sensitive given the right circumstances. I mean, I knew I was sensitive when it came to the sun, but it turns out that a plain old flickery indoor light can drive me bonkers, if it's placed just right. The overhead lights in our section of the restaurant kept flickering. I kept count at one point, it was every 15-20 seconds. For an hour. All things considered, I think I handled it rather well. But I did kind of want to tell them to just turn off the dratted things. I don't think the rest of the group would have liked that much. It's more pleasant to talk to people when you can see them, at least if you're neurotypical.
Most of the long weekend was spent at home, with Chris, discussing the future and dealing with things. Chris just got a raise, which unfortunately was only enough to offset the cost of adding me to the insurance plan. We're looking for other ways to save money, and will be taking a look at other options for car insurance and such soon. But it's a tough subject to work with, and he's bummed about the situation. It's pretty stupid, all in all, because his job and salary would be almost luxurious if he wasn't weighted down with so much college debt.
Even stupider is that managing my various expenses is painful. Between the supplements, chiropractic work, health insurance, and other necessities, it costs a depressingly large amount every month for me to even try to keep my life, sanity, etc, in balance. That's the cost tallied before we even factor in the mental and emotional effort it takes for me to do my part. And I'm supposedly "high functioning." Ufff... I spent a good chunk of this weekend being depressed about all that, but other than doing my best, there's really very little I can do about it. There is no magic pill to make my difficulties go away. It just stings more than a little to know I'm "high maintenance," especially when I feel like I achieve so little.
Speaking of achieving things, I've never been terrible comfortable with my Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday update schedule, as it seems unbalanced to me. So I'm going to swap it around starting next week to Monday (Reading the Research)-Wednesday (Legwork and Life)-Friday (Book Review/Musings/Topical). Hopefully no one will mind. I think it'd be nice to start the week off with something interesting to chew on, plus those entries aren't difficult for me and I can have them ready ahead of time. Which means not stressing on Sunday night when I'm supposed to be relaxing. Then everyone can read about my boring life on the most boring day of the week (sorry Wednesday, I hated you when I worked 9-5 jobs), and hopefully end the week with something interesting as well. It's a relatively minor re-arrangement in all, I think, but it might help.
My current mood and incredible lack of energy aside, my week wasn't terrible. On Wednesday, I picked up my mother from the airport and spent some hours with her. She was in town, along with an uncle and aunt, for some family event I wasn't involved in. It was actually terrible timing, my period had just hit and I tend to be miserable the first couple days, but I rarely see my mother. So I bucked up and we had a decent time. Then there was dinner out with my grandmother and the visiting family. It was, over all, a nice dinner. The food was decent and my mother found something she could eat, which is tough for her on her specialized diet. She even seemed to like it.
I did find out that I am, in fact, somewhat light sensitive given the right circumstances. I mean, I knew I was sensitive when it came to the sun, but it turns out that a plain old flickery indoor light can drive me bonkers, if it's placed just right. The overhead lights in our section of the restaurant kept flickering. I kept count at one point, it was every 15-20 seconds. For an hour. All things considered, I think I handled it rather well. But I did kind of want to tell them to just turn off the dratted things. I don't think the rest of the group would have liked that much. It's more pleasant to talk to people when you can see them, at least if you're neurotypical.
Most of the long weekend was spent at home, with Chris, discussing the future and dealing with things. Chris just got a raise, which unfortunately was only enough to offset the cost of adding me to the insurance plan. We're looking for other ways to save money, and will be taking a look at other options for car insurance and such soon. But it's a tough subject to work with, and he's bummed about the situation. It's pretty stupid, all in all, because his job and salary would be almost luxurious if he wasn't weighted down with so much college debt.
Even stupider is that managing my various expenses is painful. Between the supplements, chiropractic work, health insurance, and other necessities, it costs a depressingly large amount every month for me to even try to keep my life, sanity, etc, in balance. That's the cost tallied before we even factor in the mental and emotional effort it takes for me to do my part. And I'm supposedly "high functioning." Ufff... I spent a good chunk of this weekend being depressed about all that, but other than doing my best, there's really very little I can do about it. There is no magic pill to make my difficulties go away. It just stings more than a little to know I'm "high maintenance," especially when I feel like I achieve so little.
Speaking of achieving things, I've never been terrible comfortable with my Tuesday-Wednesday-Friday update schedule, as it seems unbalanced to me. So I'm going to swap it around starting next week to Monday (Reading the Research)-Wednesday (Legwork and Life)-Friday (Book Review/Musings/Topical). Hopefully no one will mind. I think it'd be nice to start the week off with something interesting to chew on, plus those entries aren't difficult for me and I can have them ready ahead of time. Which means not stressing on Sunday night when I'm supposed to be relaxing. Then everyone can read about my boring life on the most boring day of the week (sorry Wednesday, I hated you when I worked 9-5 jobs), and hopefully end the week with something interesting as well. It's a relatively minor re-arrangement in all, I think, but it might help.
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