Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Legwork and Life, week of 2/14/17

Happy Valentine's Day, I guess.  I think this is about the tiredest I've ever been on this particular holiday, due to the fact that we drove back from CT yesterday.  It was actually nicer than on the trip out, because Chris' brother put us up at his house for the night.  That house is roughly an hour closer to our home than where we were staying before, so while the trip was still very very long, it was slightly less awful for that bit of kindness.

This last week was... challenging.  I'm trying to keep up with my chores whilst adding in extra social appointments and juggling the existing obligations to my various jobs.  I don't think I qualify for social butterfly status, but it's certainly a lot more people than I'm used to seeing.  It is, I think, somewhat necessary, not so much for my soundness of mind, but in order to keep up with those people and relationships.  Also, if people aren't exhausting me as much as they used to, I should probably take advantage of that. 

Then, of course, came the trip down to CT.  We left on Friday, as Chris had a day of bereavement leave, and drove down through Ohio and Pennsylvania.  I personally think that route is the most boring of all your options, but it's also the least tolled, so it's generally the way we go.  I blame Pennsylvania, honestly.  US Interstate 80 cuts through the various hills, going east and west the length of the state.  But since it's so direct and does that, it's a favorite truck route.  And because the state isn't thickly-settled around most of I-80, there isn't much by way of towns, buildings, or cell phone towers.  So you have a two lanes, and a mass of variable-speed semis clogging up the way.  To be fair to the semis, truck drivers tend to be the most conscientious drivers on the road at any given time.  That's a fact I'm grateful for, since if they get into an accident, pretty much anything around them is going to suffer. 

We managed to miss most of the rush hour traffic on the way down, which was nice, but the trip on the whole still took 14.5 hours, which is still long even when you're switching drivers every 2-3 hours.  It can be done in 12.5 hours, if you basically only stop for gas, but it tends to leave you completely miserable afterwards to strain yourself like that.  We opted for packed lunches, but lots of breaks to stretch our annoyed legs and backs. 

The funeral (memorial service, specifically) was well put together and pleasant enough. Well, pleasant enough save my very annoying bouts of tears at the "Family Rememberances" section.  For clarity, Chris' grandmother passed away about a month ago, at the age of 97.  I knew her for only a few years, and only saw her about once a year for Christmas or other holidays.  She got me the nicest present I've ever gotten from someone who knew nothing about me (a pair of slipper-socks, blue and very cozy), and was in general warm and welcoming to me when she really didn't need to be.  But that, her deteriorating health, and her love of tea was pretty much all I knew about her.  So I really had no personal reason to be crying sheets of tears when her children cried at the microphone remembering her. 

...unfortunately, autism is sometimes like having no skin, and their pain literally hurt me so much that the tears started and wouldn't stop.  So I ended up being a tearstained snotty mess, to my great and abiding annoyance. 

The rest of the funeral, and the refreshments and dinner afterwards, were generally fine.  Chris' mother had made a point to make sure I'd have options, and the dinner actually had specially prepared bison steaks just for me.  Which was very thoughtful, because the rest of the dinner was a buffet.  While I'm used to picking through buffets for cruelty-free options, and probably wouldn't have thought much of it, the lack of having to bother was very pleasant.  And of course, the restaurant did an excellent job on the steaks. 

It was odd to see Chris' family again so soon.  We last saw most of them in November, for the wedding, but several of them couldn't make it for one reason or another, so I got hugs from people I didn't recognize in the slightest.  Which... at this point, I just kind of roll with.  It's going to be awhile before I get names and faces all paired together neatly.  And with only yearly reminders, it's... just going to be effortful for awhile.  It's not like hugs from random people can kill me or significantly affect my sanity, though, so I'll just be practicing my "oh, it's great to see you again (who are you again?)" smiles and conversation.


We may get to see them all again in May, also, for the burial of the ashes, so I'll get more chances to learn names and faces soon.  In the meantime, it's back to life with a pretty darned busy week coming up, to my discomfort.  Wish me luck? 

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