Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management by Nick Dubin
I am told to never judge a book by its cover, and I've been taught that the author is almost never involved in the appearance of a book's cover. That said... I'm really not sure how a side shot of a sad woman's face (with flyaway hair) is supposed to sell this book.
Fortunately, the book itself more than makes up for the cover. If I had to summarize this book quickly, I would call it "a philosophical and psychologically-educated discourse on anxiety in better-blended autistics, by someone on the spectrum."
I choose the word "discourse" quite purposefully. This book is unapologetically dense. The author, a man on the spectrum, speaks and writes regarding autism. His background includes a thorough education in psychology, and it shows. Many of the concepts he conveys in this book reached back almost a decade now for me, into Intro To Psychology classes. Don't get me wrong, the concepts he's trying to pass along are excellent ones, they're just not even slightly on the public's radar.
I was amused to note that Mr. Dubin, unlike many authors on the spectrum (and off the spectrum, really) does not make the assumption that other autistic people are like him. Which leads me to wonder if learning psychology taught him not to make that mistake, as it did for me, or if some other reason lead to that recognition. It is basic human nature to assume that others act and react like oneself, and that is why almost everyone makes that mistake. Psychology tells us we're literally wired to do so. It takes a lot of repetition and work to undermine that assumption, and even with that, we still fall back into making that assumption regularly.
What he does do, though, is try to convince you of his unusual worldview. Mr. Dubin has adopted pieces of Buddhism, Christianity, and some of Carl Jung's philosophy into a strikingly unusual, but coherent whole. It's a very positive, self-affirming and pro-social mindset, which I can appreciate even if I don't even slightly believe it.
Other than that (mainly the last chapter), the remainder of the book can potentially be useful to a philosophically-minded and patient reader. He has specific thoughts and ideas to pass along regarding CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which is a school of thought in psychology that has scientifically demonstrated effectiveness. He peppers his concepts with examples, but sadly doesn't offer any major concrete advice for applying them to your own life. Presumably he knows how complicated / hit or miss that endeavor would be.
He also has... a slightly more positive take on meltdowns than I've seen anywhere, ever. While Mr. Dubin will not argue that having a meltdown in public isn't a good thing, he does argue that they serve a purpose. Most traditional understandings of meltdowns (ie: throwing a tantrum, having an emotional overload, etc) insist that they are a sign that something is terribly wrong and they should be avoided at all costs, public or private. This author thinks that meltdowns are a way of letting off excess energy, anxiety, steam, etc, and are fine so long as they're in a private, controlled environment and property damage doesn't ensue. He talks about having them sometimes, even now that he's fully grown and has learned many anxiety- and stress-reducing techniques.
I'm undecided on my opinion of all that. I've never particularly viewed my meltdowns as a good thing, and I've made many efforts to keep those meltdowns quiet, private, and lacking in property damage. But I don't particularly feel like they help me much, either. Whether that's because I'm busily being upset that I had a meltdown, or because they actually don't help, is an open question.
I am told to never judge a book by its cover, and I've been taught that the author is almost never involved in the appearance of a book's cover. That said... I'm really not sure how a side shot of a sad woman's face (with flyaway hair) is supposed to sell this book.
Fortunately, the book itself more than makes up for the cover. If I had to summarize this book quickly, I would call it "a philosophical and psychologically-educated discourse on anxiety in better-blended autistics, by someone on the spectrum."
I choose the word "discourse" quite purposefully. This book is unapologetically dense. The author, a man on the spectrum, speaks and writes regarding autism. His background includes a thorough education in psychology, and it shows. Many of the concepts he conveys in this book reached back almost a decade now for me, into Intro To Psychology classes. Don't get me wrong, the concepts he's trying to pass along are excellent ones, they're just not even slightly on the public's radar.
I was amused to note that Mr. Dubin, unlike many authors on the spectrum (and off the spectrum, really) does not make the assumption that other autistic people are like him. Which leads me to wonder if learning psychology taught him not to make that mistake, as it did for me, or if some other reason lead to that recognition. It is basic human nature to assume that others act and react like oneself, and that is why almost everyone makes that mistake. Psychology tells us we're literally wired to do so. It takes a lot of repetition and work to undermine that assumption, and even with that, we still fall back into making that assumption regularly.
What he does do, though, is try to convince you of his unusual worldview. Mr. Dubin has adopted pieces of Buddhism, Christianity, and some of Carl Jung's philosophy into a strikingly unusual, but coherent whole. It's a very positive, self-affirming and pro-social mindset, which I can appreciate even if I don't even slightly believe it.
Other than that (mainly the last chapter), the remainder of the book can potentially be useful to a philosophically-minded and patient reader. He has specific thoughts and ideas to pass along regarding CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which is a school of thought in psychology that has scientifically demonstrated effectiveness. He peppers his concepts with examples, but sadly doesn't offer any major concrete advice for applying them to your own life. Presumably he knows how complicated / hit or miss that endeavor would be.
He also has... a slightly more positive take on meltdowns than I've seen anywhere, ever. While Mr. Dubin will not argue that having a meltdown in public isn't a good thing, he does argue that they serve a purpose. Most traditional understandings of meltdowns (ie: throwing a tantrum, having an emotional overload, etc) insist that they are a sign that something is terribly wrong and they should be avoided at all costs, public or private. This author thinks that meltdowns are a way of letting off excess energy, anxiety, steam, etc, and are fine so long as they're in a private, controlled environment and property damage doesn't ensue. He talks about having them sometimes, even now that he's fully grown and has learned many anxiety- and stress-reducing techniques.
I'm undecided on my opinion of all that. I've never particularly viewed my meltdowns as a good thing, and I've made many efforts to keep those meltdowns quiet, private, and lacking in property damage. But I don't particularly feel like they help me much, either. Whether that's because I'm busily being upset that I had a meltdown, or because they actually don't help, is an open question.
Read This Book If
You have anxiety problems, want to understand another autistic perspective on life, or are just in the mood for an interesting read. While I don't agree with the author on various things, his viewpoints are still quite valid and definitely interesting. I would suggest it be more advanced reading on anxiety, rather than beginner, though, due to the denseness and theoretical nature of the ideas.
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