One site again today. Most of the visit was me kvetching about work. Things I can't change but definitely get my goat. It's been kind of interesting because the doctor has a rather different perspective on salaried and minimum wage work than I absorbed, growing up. She talks about setting boundaries for yourself- lines, basically. If people cross them, you then know this is a situation that needs to be changed, avoided, or escaped.
I'm... wary of that perspective. Not because I don't think it has merit, or I wouldn't be considering it at all. But because I am a creature of solid decisions, if I can get away with it. If I decide I'm going to do a thing, I am darned well going to do that thing. I don't abandon my decisions lightly or easily. That's kind of inflexible of me, which is a problem with a society where things can be so incredibly subjective. So I'm leery of drawing lines in the sand and then saying, "step over it, and you're dead to me." If I make that line, and something changes while I'm focusing on the line, and then the line is crossed, I may not notice that change before I throw up my hands and walk away. I can be rather single-minded. So then I've burnt bridges I didn't need to burn.
The problem is that hard boundaries do seem to be rather necessary in the adult world. Humans, in my experience, can be amazingly selfless, but as a rule, aren't. Take Walmart, for instance. Because it's cheaper and easier, Walmart hires everyone part time, pays them next to nothing, and then encourages them to apply for food stamps. Food stamps, which conveniently can be used at Walmart. In this way, they avoid paying for healthcare and the benefits a worker needs to support a household, get the cheapest labor they can wrangle by law, and profiteer off their employees while they're at it.
While most companies (and people) aren't as terrible as Walmart, some of the same tendencies apply. Hiring part time, and pushing those people to work as close to full time as possible. Avoiding overtime pay. Allowing only minimal paid time off, or vacation days. Skimping on benefits. All in the name of profits, or being competitive, or whatever the going excuse is.
This is rampant in US culture. And it's making a lot of people miserable. Myself included. Which is why it's important to set those hard limits, because otherwise you get into the "oh, it's just another 5 hours a week," "oh, it's just another day a week," "oh, it's just an extra duty or two," mentality, and suddenly you're doing two more jobs on top of the one you were hired for, and for no additional compensation.
This isn't to say everyone can just throw up their hands and leave. But you can't just stay there and rot, says my doctor. You have to look for ways out, and work towards a different job. She says people assume they're supposed to be miserable at work or get stuck thinking there's nothing else out there, and give up. Content to rot slowly to death in a place that destroys their souls.
This is a particularly troubling phenomenon for my generation, because the vast majority of us are saddled with tens of thousands of debt. In addition to that debt, we have diplomas that were supposed to land us jobs we loved but instead make us look overqualified for the only jobs we can get: minimum wage at restaurants and retail. But an income we must have, because the loans must be paid, so those are the jobs we take. What was once the purview of teenagers is now our lives.
It's very easy to get jaded, assume this will be our lives forever, and give up.
There's actually an entire oppressive system going on, but my tongue tastes extra bitter today, so I probably shouldn't go on about it right now. I'm likely to be cruel, rather than objective, to all participating parties in the system. Another day!
I'm... wary of that perspective. Not because I don't think it has merit, or I wouldn't be considering it at all. But because I am a creature of solid decisions, if I can get away with it. If I decide I'm going to do a thing, I am darned well going to do that thing. I don't abandon my decisions lightly or easily. That's kind of inflexible of me, which is a problem with a society where things can be so incredibly subjective. So I'm leery of drawing lines in the sand and then saying, "step over it, and you're dead to me." If I make that line, and something changes while I'm focusing on the line, and then the line is crossed, I may not notice that change before I throw up my hands and walk away. I can be rather single-minded. So then I've burnt bridges I didn't need to burn.
The problem is that hard boundaries do seem to be rather necessary in the adult world. Humans, in my experience, can be amazingly selfless, but as a rule, aren't. Take Walmart, for instance. Because it's cheaper and easier, Walmart hires everyone part time, pays them next to nothing, and then encourages them to apply for food stamps. Food stamps, which conveniently can be used at Walmart. In this way, they avoid paying for healthcare and the benefits a worker needs to support a household, get the cheapest labor they can wrangle by law, and profiteer off their employees while they're at it.
While most companies (and people) aren't as terrible as Walmart, some of the same tendencies apply. Hiring part time, and pushing those people to work as close to full time as possible. Avoiding overtime pay. Allowing only minimal paid time off, or vacation days. Skimping on benefits. All in the name of profits, or being competitive, or whatever the going excuse is.
This is rampant in US culture. And it's making a lot of people miserable. Myself included. Which is why it's important to set those hard limits, because otherwise you get into the "oh, it's just another 5 hours a week," "oh, it's just another day a week," "oh, it's just an extra duty or two," mentality, and suddenly you're doing two more jobs on top of the one you were hired for, and for no additional compensation.
This isn't to say everyone can just throw up their hands and leave. But you can't just stay there and rot, says my doctor. You have to look for ways out, and work towards a different job. She says people assume they're supposed to be miserable at work or get stuck thinking there's nothing else out there, and give up. Content to rot slowly to death in a place that destroys their souls.
This is a particularly troubling phenomenon for my generation, because the vast majority of us are saddled with tens of thousands of debt. In addition to that debt, we have diplomas that were supposed to land us jobs we loved but instead make us look overqualified for the only jobs we can get: minimum wage at restaurants and retail. But an income we must have, because the loans must be paid, so those are the jobs we take. What was once the purview of teenagers is now our lives.
It's very easy to get jaded, assume this will be our lives forever, and give up.
There's actually an entire oppressive system going on, but my tongue tastes extra bitter today, so I probably shouldn't go on about it right now. I'm likely to be cruel, rather than objective, to all participating parties in the system. Another day!
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