Friday, July 3, 2015

Aunt

So as of a couple weeks ago, I am officially an aunt.  I really don't know what to make of that.  I'm banking on having a couple years to figure it out and mess it up before my nephew will actually remember it.  That's due to the fact that memories are stored differently at that age than they are at ~3 and onward.  So I have some breathing room, yay.

At the moment I'm trying not to be overhelpful to my brother and sister-in-law, because they have a physician friend who is also having a baby, and their friend certainly knows more about childcare and babies than I do.  Nor, really, do I have any useful advice they haven't heard already.  I don't have kids of my own and probably won't for awhile, which means anything I have to say is really... not... helpful. 

If my nephew turns out to be on the spectrum, then I may have something useful to offer them.  There's some evidence that autism runs in families, so it's always possible.  I really hope he doesn't have it, though.  It's made my life rather miserable.  It's certainly not all bad, and some people might be displeased to hear me say it, but I really think life is difficult enough without having the addition of "no social intuition" and other potential issues that come with autism. 

My brother and sister-in-law are doing well, as far as I can tell.  They're moving to a house and getting settled with their son.  I'm fairly certain my parents are happy, and my grandparents.  I'm happy for them, but I'm also kind of perplexed.  I have no idea how to be an aunt. 

My aunts and uncles, growing up, were people I saw once a year at Christmas.  They got me presents, which was nice, but mostly ignored me otherwise.  Which is perhaps not entirely their fault- I wasn't very approachable growing up, and with only seeing them once a year, it's not like there was time for any bond to develop. 

Still, I'd like something better for my nephew.  I'm still not very approachable and to be honest, I don't really like kids that much.  I didn't get kids when I was a kid.  I was one of those kids that talked with adults instead.  I can hope that being in proximity with them at my job is helping, but I really have no idea. 

I don't remember which family's turn it is to have my brother and sister-in-law over for Christmas, but I hope it's my side.  My nephew will already have grown a ton by then, but at least I'll be able to see him and get a better sense of how they're adjusting to raising a kid.  I follow the blog they have going on their lives, and have seen baby pictures and all that, but it's not really the same as being there in person.  With my job and the distance, I'm unlikely to make it the 8 or so hours' drive. 

So for now I guess I'll watch quietly from afar, and do my best by them. 

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