I ran across an article by Maxfield Sparrow pointing out, quite rightly, that I and other autistic people have more experience being alone and being isolated than most neurotypical people. I was a social outcast for most of my schooling, which led to practicing self-isolation as they describe in this post. I now have quite a bit of practice managing myself and these situations. So now there's a pandemic and everyone has to be isolated. Let's talk about handling isolation, shall we?
If you feel alone and need people to talk to, know that there are thousands of communities full of people who likely feel similarly and are also reaching out for support. Look into communities around your hobbies and interests.
Reddit is a good place to start for this. There are multiple autism-related Reddit communities, but there are also places for knitting, book clubs, parenting, cooking, TV shows... basically, if you can imagine a topic, there's probably a community somewhere for it. Reddit is not your only option for finding these communities, either. A bit of time spent Googling your interests can turn up a variety of options, like forums, IRC channels, YouTube personalities, and how-to guides.
Discord is another option. While it was initially built for video game communities, there are now communities for creative writing, webcomics, city areas (here's one for Grand Rapids), gardening, and even knitting. You can chat by text or voice with people about all kinds of things. If you play video games, you can even stream your game to your friends in a virtual hangout. I'll expand on this below.
I do not recommend upping your hours on social media, like Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook. In my research and personal experience, time spent on social media tends to result in feeling worse about yourself and the world. They also tend to run experiments on you, sell your data to whoever will pay pennies for it, and significantly limit the information they feed back to you.
Instead of passively following your friends and family on social media, consider calling them on the phone, texting them, emailing them, or using Skype, Facetime, or Discord to video call every once a week or so. I personally prefer emails or text due to the suffering the phone causes me, but you may find the phone a much more satisfying option. People are different, and that's okay!
Finally, you can have a virtual party or hang out time. You don't have to give up your movie night, board game night, or other night out just because you shouldn't leave your home.
Movies and TV: Rather than all gathering at a single house, each person can relax in their own home yet watch a movie or TV show together. The classic example of this is the Chrome extension Netflix Party, which syncs your screen with all of your friends' screens, so nobody gets surprised first. But, there are actually a lot of options for having this kind of experience. Binge watch a favorite TV show with your friends, or try out a new show together!
Board Games: Did you know you can play board games online? Specifically, did you know there's a virtual tabletop application called Tabletop Simulator, in which you can play games like Risk, Battleship, Settlers of Cataan, Apples to Apples, Clue, and thousands more. There's also an app called Tabletopia that works on phones and does the same kind of thing. If you love board games and miss being with your friends, why not give these a try?
Video Games: Many gamers already make use of technology like this, but Twitch, Discord, Mixer, Periscope, Livestream, and a ton of other services offer the ability to stream your gameplay to an audience. You can show off a favorite game, or introduce your friends to something new.
Not interested in being on display? That's okay, you can play with your loved ones instead! There are hundreds of cooperative video games. Here's a link to a drawing party game that's free for the next few weeks. There are also lots of more indepth games, like Path of Exile, which is a fantasy online multiplayer game. Or Terraria, an open world survival/exploration game. If you have a Nintendo Switch, Animal Crossing: New Horizons just came out. You can escape to your own island, explore and reshape the place as you like, build a community of cheerful animal friends, and relax to a great soundtrack. There's even an option to visit your friends' islands, so you can play together too.
Knitting Group/Book Club/Interest Group: Facetime, Discord, Skype, Zoom, Google Hangouts, and WhatsApp all have group call functionality. Get everyone the same app, set up your phones and/or webcams, and get out your books/knitting needles/D&D character sheets.
With most of the world on lockdown during this pandemic crisis, lots of people are turning to the Internet to meet their social needs. Thankfully, there's a ton of stuff for everyone. If you're starved for people, now's the best time to look into your options! There are so many ways to spend time with your friends and family without worrying about infecting them, and new and interesting friends could be right around the corner. The Internet has groups who love your hobbies as much as you do, just waiting for you to join them.
A last but important note: If you are suffering any form of mental illness, and the isolation is making it worse, there are options available for you. Besides the hotlines, many therapists are doing their work via phone or video call, so it's worth it to check with your therapist and see if you can get an appointment without risking infection. At least two of my friends have already had appointments with their therapists over the phone, so the tele-health option does work.
Remember: Depression, anxiety, and other forms of mental illness are real and legitimate forms of pain, just like broken legs and bruises. Help is available to you, and you do matter.
Self-care often falls by the wayside in the hustle and bustle of life. However, it's extremely important, especially in trying times like these. Read an old favorite book, or take a new one from your stack, if you have one. Schedule some time to drink tea or coffee without looking at your phone. Take a luxurious bath, or start a video game you've been meaning to play. Call friends or family and talk for a while. Play a silly phone game you love for a few minutes. Listen to old music you love, or new music you've been meaning to look into. I've spent some of the time rereading old favorite book series and trashy pop literature, because it's comfortable and I need the comfort right now.
Whatever relaxes you and feeds your soul, make time every day to do those things.
You can also try new activities. Have you wanted to take more walks outside? It's getting warmer, and you can keep your distance from others while you do so. There are also free exercise classes of all kinds on Youtube, like aerobics, tai chi, yoga, and more. Or perhaps there's a subject you've been meaning to learn about? There are free Ivy League classes available online. You can learn to code in HTML, CSS, SQL, Javascript, and a lot more languages for free.
Have you meant to try meditation or some kind of mindfulness to help with the stress of life, but there never seemed to be a good time to practice? Pick up Headspace or Calm. Both of these are quality apps with significant sections of free content. They can help you learn to manage the stress of the isolation in a healthy manner, and give you a break from the worry about the future and the present, and the fear- and frustration-laden cycles the news is going through.
Cooking is another thing you can do at home. Since grocery shopping is an essential activity, you can try recipes you wouldn't normally have time for. Make a big batch of soup or a favorite dish and freeze some for later. Stretch your horizons by making a vegetarian dish, or even something dairy-free or gluten-free. Try new ingredients, or pick up a new kind of spice or seasoning. The Internet is full of recipes. I particularly like Budget Bytes, but I also reference the megasite All Recipes as well. With some time on Google, you may be able to find specific sites that cater to your dietary needs.
Overwhelmed? Can't think of anything to cook? There's a website for that. Actually, there's several, so here's another. Click the ingredients you have available, and the website will show you links to recipes using those ingredients.
Finally, remember that you can easily keep a six foot distance from others outside. As the weather warms in the northern hemisphere, public parks can be your safe place to go when cabin fever sets in. Spending time in green spaces, such as gardens, forests, and public parks, has been repeatedly shown to improve stress levels and quality of life overall, so why not stop by your local park? You could even meet up with a friend and chat while keeping a safe distance from each other.
Whatever your interests, there is something for you. Stay safe out there!
Sociability via the Internet
First and foremost, the Internet has lots of social options. Just because you shouldn't go see people in person, doesn't mean you have to be a hermit.If you feel alone and need people to talk to, know that there are thousands of communities full of people who likely feel similarly and are also reaching out for support. Look into communities around your hobbies and interests.
Reddit is a good place to start for this. There are multiple autism-related Reddit communities, but there are also places for knitting, book clubs, parenting, cooking, TV shows... basically, if you can imagine a topic, there's probably a community somewhere for it. Reddit is not your only option for finding these communities, either. A bit of time spent Googling your interests can turn up a variety of options, like forums, IRC channels, YouTube personalities, and how-to guides.
Discord is another option. While it was initially built for video game communities, there are now communities for creative writing, webcomics, city areas (here's one for Grand Rapids), gardening, and even knitting. You can chat by text or voice with people about all kinds of things. If you play video games, you can even stream your game to your friends in a virtual hangout. I'll expand on this below.
I do not recommend upping your hours on social media, like Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook. In my research and personal experience, time spent on social media tends to result in feeling worse about yourself and the world. They also tend to run experiments on you, sell your data to whoever will pay pennies for it, and significantly limit the information they feed back to you.
Instead of passively following your friends and family on social media, consider calling them on the phone, texting them, emailing them, or using Skype, Facetime, or Discord to video call every once a week or so. I personally prefer emails or text due to the suffering the phone causes me, but you may find the phone a much more satisfying option. People are different, and that's okay!
Finally, you can have a virtual party or hang out time. You don't have to give up your movie night, board game night, or other night out just because you shouldn't leave your home.
Movies and TV: Rather than all gathering at a single house, each person can relax in their own home yet watch a movie or TV show together. The classic example of this is the Chrome extension Netflix Party, which syncs your screen with all of your friends' screens, so nobody gets surprised first. But, there are actually a lot of options for having this kind of experience. Binge watch a favorite TV show with your friends, or try out a new show together!
Board Games: Did you know you can play board games online? Specifically, did you know there's a virtual tabletop application called Tabletop Simulator, in which you can play games like Risk, Battleship, Settlers of Cataan, Apples to Apples, Clue, and thousands more. There's also an app called Tabletopia that works on phones and does the same kind of thing. If you love board games and miss being with your friends, why not give these a try?
Video Games: Many gamers already make use of technology like this, but Twitch, Discord, Mixer, Periscope, Livestream, and a ton of other services offer the ability to stream your gameplay to an audience. You can show off a favorite game, or introduce your friends to something new.
Not interested in being on display? That's okay, you can play with your loved ones instead! There are hundreds of cooperative video games. Here's a link to a drawing party game that's free for the next few weeks. There are also lots of more indepth games, like Path of Exile, which is a fantasy online multiplayer game. Or Terraria, an open world survival/exploration game. If you have a Nintendo Switch, Animal Crossing: New Horizons just came out. You can escape to your own island, explore and reshape the place as you like, build a community of cheerful animal friends, and relax to a great soundtrack. There's even an option to visit your friends' islands, so you can play together too.
Knitting Group/Book Club/Interest Group: Facetime, Discord, Skype, Zoom, Google Hangouts, and WhatsApp all have group call functionality. Get everyone the same app, set up your phones and/or webcams, and get out your books/knitting needles/D&D character sheets.
With most of the world on lockdown during this pandemic crisis, lots of people are turning to the Internet to meet their social needs. Thankfully, there's a ton of stuff for everyone. If you're starved for people, now's the best time to look into your options! There are so many ways to spend time with your friends and family without worrying about infecting them, and new and interesting friends could be right around the corner. The Internet has groups who love your hobbies as much as you do, just waiting for you to join them.
A last but important note: If you are suffering any form of mental illness, and the isolation is making it worse, there are options available for you. Besides the hotlines, many therapists are doing their work via phone or video call, so it's worth it to check with your therapist and see if you can get an appointment without risking infection. At least two of my friends have already had appointments with their therapists over the phone, so the tele-health option does work.
Remember: Depression, anxiety, and other forms of mental illness are real and legitimate forms of pain, just like broken legs and bruises. Help is available to you, and you do matter.
Self-Care and Self-Improvement
Second, consider this time a chance to do some things for yourself you never seemed to have time for.Self-care often falls by the wayside in the hustle and bustle of life. However, it's extremely important, especially in trying times like these. Read an old favorite book, or take a new one from your stack, if you have one. Schedule some time to drink tea or coffee without looking at your phone. Take a luxurious bath, or start a video game you've been meaning to play. Call friends or family and talk for a while. Play a silly phone game you love for a few minutes. Listen to old music you love, or new music you've been meaning to look into. I've spent some of the time rereading old favorite book series and trashy pop literature, because it's comfortable and I need the comfort right now.
Whatever relaxes you and feeds your soul, make time every day to do those things.
You can also try new activities. Have you wanted to take more walks outside? It's getting warmer, and you can keep your distance from others while you do so. There are also free exercise classes of all kinds on Youtube, like aerobics, tai chi, yoga, and more. Or perhaps there's a subject you've been meaning to learn about? There are free Ivy League classes available online. You can learn to code in HTML, CSS, SQL, Javascript, and a lot more languages for free.
Have you meant to try meditation or some kind of mindfulness to help with the stress of life, but there never seemed to be a good time to practice? Pick up Headspace or Calm. Both of these are quality apps with significant sections of free content. They can help you learn to manage the stress of the isolation in a healthy manner, and give you a break from the worry about the future and the present, and the fear- and frustration-laden cycles the news is going through.
Cooking is another thing you can do at home. Since grocery shopping is an essential activity, you can try recipes you wouldn't normally have time for. Make a big batch of soup or a favorite dish and freeze some for later. Stretch your horizons by making a vegetarian dish, or even something dairy-free or gluten-free. Try new ingredients, or pick up a new kind of spice or seasoning. The Internet is full of recipes. I particularly like Budget Bytes, but I also reference the megasite All Recipes as well. With some time on Google, you may be able to find specific sites that cater to your dietary needs.
Overwhelmed? Can't think of anything to cook? There's a website for that. Actually, there's several, so here's another. Click the ingredients you have available, and the website will show you links to recipes using those ingredients.
Finally, remember that you can easily keep a six foot distance from others outside. As the weather warms in the northern hemisphere, public parks can be your safe place to go when cabin fever sets in. Spending time in green spaces, such as gardens, forests, and public parks, has been repeatedly shown to improve stress levels and quality of life overall, so why not stop by your local park? You could even meet up with a friend and chat while keeping a safe distance from each other.
Whatever your interests, there is something for you. Stay safe out there!
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