Asperger's and Girls, by Tony Attwood, Temple Grandin, and a bunch of other experts, is a book of essays on specific issues and specialized focuses on topics that come with being born with two X chromosomes and autism. At the end, it includes a trio of essays by autistic authors, which help put the information from the previous chapters into context. There are thoughts and guidance on the differences we've seen between male and female autistic people, on sex education and puberty, on navigating the social life of a school, on transitioning to adult life from school, and even pieces on careers, relationships, dating, marriage, and motherhood.
The book is from 2006, so it's unfortunately a bit dated. You wouldn't think that much could change in 13 years, but it can! At that time, it was news that autistic people could be female, and everyone and their sister didn't own a smartphone. Hence, there was a strong need for this book. Fortunately, the general knowledge of autism has increased. Possibly less fortunately, or at least very differently, the way kids learn about some of these subjects has changed. For example, never mind school sex ed or even proactive parental teaching, most likely the first place kids learn about sex is via the Internet, either from porn sites or (preferably!) from helpful online resources like this, this, and this. Even so, the book still contains a good bit of useful advice and insight on the subjects it addresses.
Of particular interest was the section on social groups, how to fit in, how to navigate the school's social hierarchy, and the model of relationship levels. This was information I was definitely missing when I grew up, and while I didn't entirely agree with every sentence in the essay, I probably am not the greatest resource for this information anyway. I spent most of school as a loner (which I was just fine with), and only had an actual friend group in high school. I must have done okay by them, or at least tolerably, but I can't imagine I was anyone's Friend #1.
The section I had the most disagreements with was also one of the most important and useful sections: the one on puberty. In 2006, the culture was beginning to shift, but wasn't yet to the point of understanding Consent, or recognizing that while you don't just... talk about menstruation or sex with strangers, they're also not subjects you should be ashamed of, and it's okay to talk about them with your close friends. Or... I guess random strangers in a supportive Internet environment like Scarleteen (All hail the mighty Internet, where you can sidestep your embarrassment on a subject by being anonymous).
At the time this book was written, I was in high school, and these things were beginning to change... but consent was still poorly understood. And in fact, it's mentioned in this book, but not by that name, and certainly not discussed in detail, like the difference between "no means no" and "yes means yes." The book even counsels not talking about having a period, as if it's impolite to mention this basic fact of life and people will faint if it's brought up. Maybe it's that I'm autistic, but I personally think if you can't handle hearing that a person is suffering cramps or needs to use the bathroom to change their pad, you need to grow up.
A minor concern about this section was the espousing of disposable pads. I know disposable pads and tampons are easy and convenient and all that, but they're incredibly expensive over time, environmentally unfriendly, and there are perfectly good reusable options for both products. I would rather autistic girls (and all girls, really) be taught how to use these reusable options, and only rely on disposable products for emergencies. In all honesty, the disposable pads are scratchy and annoying by comparison to the washable ones anyway.
Still, the essay is quite right in telling you to start teaching body changes, cleanliness, use of hygiene products, sex ed, and personal safety. And not only to teach it outside school, but teach it early, and in steps rather than all at once.
https://www.aane.org/women-asperger-profiles/
https://awnnetwork.org/
The book is from 2006, so it's unfortunately a bit dated. You wouldn't think that much could change in 13 years, but it can! At that time, it was news that autistic people could be female, and everyone and their sister didn't own a smartphone. Hence, there was a strong need for this book. Fortunately, the general knowledge of autism has increased. Possibly less fortunately, or at least very differently, the way kids learn about some of these subjects has changed. For example, never mind school sex ed or even proactive parental teaching, most likely the first place kids learn about sex is via the Internet, either from porn sites or (preferably!) from helpful online resources like this, this, and this. Even so, the book still contains a good bit of useful advice and insight on the subjects it addresses.
Of particular interest was the section on social groups, how to fit in, how to navigate the school's social hierarchy, and the model of relationship levels. This was information I was definitely missing when I grew up, and while I didn't entirely agree with every sentence in the essay, I probably am not the greatest resource for this information anyway. I spent most of school as a loner (which I was just fine with), and only had an actual friend group in high school. I must have done okay by them, or at least tolerably, but I can't imagine I was anyone's Friend #1.
The section I had the most disagreements with was also one of the most important and useful sections: the one on puberty. In 2006, the culture was beginning to shift, but wasn't yet to the point of understanding Consent, or recognizing that while you don't just... talk about menstruation or sex with strangers, they're also not subjects you should be ashamed of, and it's okay to talk about them with your close friends. Or... I guess random strangers in a supportive Internet environment like Scarleteen (All hail the mighty Internet, where you can sidestep your embarrassment on a subject by being anonymous).
At the time this book was written, I was in high school, and these things were beginning to change... but consent was still poorly understood. And in fact, it's mentioned in this book, but not by that name, and certainly not discussed in detail, like the difference between "no means no" and "yes means yes." The book even counsels not talking about having a period, as if it's impolite to mention this basic fact of life and people will faint if it's brought up. Maybe it's that I'm autistic, but I personally think if you can't handle hearing that a person is suffering cramps or needs to use the bathroom to change their pad, you need to grow up.
A minor concern about this section was the espousing of disposable pads. I know disposable pads and tampons are easy and convenient and all that, but they're incredibly expensive over time, environmentally unfriendly, and there are perfectly good reusable options for both products. I would rather autistic girls (and all girls, really) be taught how to use these reusable options, and only rely on disposable products for emergencies. In all honesty, the disposable pads are scratchy and annoying by comparison to the washable ones anyway.
Still, the essay is quite right in telling you to start teaching body changes, cleanliness, use of hygiene products, sex ed, and personal safety. And not only to teach it outside school, but teach it early, and in steps rather than all at once.
Read This Book If
You want a general overview of the ways autism can be experienced differently in women and girls, and don't mind that some of the recommendations and information are outdated. Teachers, parents, and even some professionals could really benefit from the information here. In particular, I appreciated that the book didn't shy from talking about and instructing you how to teach about menstruation, body changes, and sex. I really wish Future Horizons (the publisher) would update this book for the Information Age. A discussion of consent would be an excellent addition to the book. Regardless, it was a valuable read, especially since, even 13 years later, some people still insist on thinking autism is mainly a condition that guys have.Extra: Resources for Women
https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergirls/https://www.aane.org/women-asperger-profiles/
https://awnnetwork.org/
No comments:
Post a Comment