Friday, December 28, 2018

WYR: Neurodiversity and Relationships

http://jerobison.blogspot.com/2018/11/neurodiversity-and-relationships.html

So, I can personally back this up.  Turns out at least 2 of my high school friends are on the autism spectrum or otherwise neurodiverse, and another few from college.  This was definitely not intentional. 

I didn't know I was autistic at the time, and neither did anyone else.  It just so happens that the people who were willing to put up with me tended to be odd themselves, which we later found out was because we were neurodiverse in some way or another. 

My spouse has expressed worries to me sometimes, that something's not quite right with him.  These are similar worries to ones I had prior to learning I'm autistic.  My formal training in psychology doesn't extend to a really good diagnostic knowledge, but in all honesty, the diagnostic manual isn't super helpful in many cases.  I didn't recognize the autism in myself even after studying autism. 

A term I was introduced to, when it comes to being inclusive and recognizing the sheer immensity of human diversity, is "not yet diagnosed."  This term recognizes that all people, even ones generally accepted as "neurotypical," differ, sometimes rather impressively.  So even people who don't have or qualify for a formal diagnosis can be very different in both good and bad ways. 

As I've learned more about the psychology diagnostic manual, I've also learned that psychology is a very young science.  Our understanding of people and how we think and act is very rudimentary, by comparison to physics and biology.  As such, "not yet diagnosed" is also a way to acknowledge that we have a lot to learn about people. 

Finally, if you're familiar with the term "alphabet soup" in relation to diagnoses in people, you'll know that people rarely get away with just a single diagnosis.  I have five, personally, which include autism, anxiety, depression, and a couple other brain weirdnesses.  Psychology simply isn't good at putting people in boxes yet, because people tend to defy boxes. 

Whether that's because the diagnostic criteria simply aren't good enough, or because people are simply that complicated, is as of yet unknown.  But you can still safely shake your head when presented with a list of diagnoses, because even with that information, you really won't know how to help the person until you meet them.  Yet we still insist on putting people in these boxes, in hopes that it helps.  Overdiagnosis is thus an issue.  One of my formal diagnoses is "ADHD," which I'm pretty sure is inaccurate. 

"Not yet diagnosed" thusly also includes the element of over diagnosis, with the understanding that probably someday psychology will have a name, however accurate or inaccurate, for what's different about you. 

I like it as a term, honestly.  

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