It was quieter week this week, which was good because I feel like I'm struggling again. I can't tell if it's an internal thing, like my biology is off, or an external thing, like my circumstances are getting worse.
So naturally, all of that had to change. I noticed the noise level increasing around the 1 year mark. People seemed to suddenly consider it perfectly acceptable to yell conversations across the parking lot at midnight, blast their car stereos at any hour, and not chastise their children for howling like banshees in the morning. This was awful for my attempts to sleep, focus, and relax, naturally. My brain doesn't politely tune out stupid people yelling across parking lots, it considers that information just as relevant as the book I'm trying to read, or the music I'm trying to listen to.
Next, the grass started getting worn and dying. The edges of the yard areas got more and more ragged and bare. Several of the trees between the buildings died in the windstorms, and began tottering dangerously. Only one of those trees has been removed to date, though a couple more are marked for removal. The outsides of the buildings have gotten shabbier, the roofs missing shingles in places. One really nasty windstorm dropped a massive tree branch onto our neighboring building, which we dutifully reported. The branch proceeded to sit there, ignored, for weeks, until it was replaced by... a tarp. The tarp has now been there for months.
The latest and perhaps most telling sign... is that the apartment complex people apparently no longer care about the lawn at all... because there are weeds everywhere. Most species of grass aren't excessively hardy, and so lawns have to be carefully maintained and herbicides used to keep other plants from invading. This has apparently not occurred anytime recently, and the weeds are taking advantage, popping up everywhere, including in the stony, grass-free area.
I'm really not sure how the apartment manager thinks she's going to get more tenants with things in this state. Especially at the prices they're asking for these units. I can't wait to leave...
Chris mainly wanted to see it for the gun-kata (fancy gunplay tricks and fighting). There was some of that, especially at the end of the movie. But it wasn't really over-the-top, and the movie itself, while set in a fantastic world, was somewhat grim. It did end "happily" at least, so we didn't walk out of the theater bummed and crabby. Well, I did, but that's because one of our fellow movie-goers thought it was a good idea to vape inside the theater. Turns out even if the smoke is pretty-smelling and presumably non-toxic, it still makes my throat close up. I am now firmly of the opinion that you should always smoke outside, regardless of what you're smoking, and I will literally miss part of my movie to not experience that again.
The movie itself mostly left me with a curiosity about that fantasy world in general. I picked up the first book in the series after a couple days, but it read like a fever dream... and a vulgar one at that. I'm unsure of whether this book is indicative of the rest of Stephen King's books, or whether it was merely one of his early works that... perhaps didn't get enough polish. Or perhaps this is simply a writing style I flatly dislike and thousands of other people love. Either way, the movie made for an interesting night out together.
Chris noticed my unhappiness with the smoke and decided we should get drinks to help my throat at a nearby restaurant. So we sat for half an hour or so and ate an appetizer and sipped water and other things, and that was a nice place to discuss the movie and just be together.
I attend this group in order to provide what I tend to see as "the missing perspective" in these discussions... that is, the kid's perspective. If you don't have autism, you are going to have a hard time understanding what's going on with your kid, even if you document what's going on, read tons of books and research, and try your best. And your kid can't necessarily tell you, either. I suspect that I was fairly uncommunicative growing up, and I was seemingly fully verbal. (I say "seemingly" because while I could absolutely read a book and tell you what it was about, I was extremely more dense about what was going on in my life, what my emotional status was, and what things would be "fun.")
Attendance this month was pretty slim, with just a couple parents, a visitor from the YMCA program, and one of the regular ASK board members. The board member gave a presentation, roughly themed around, "What I've learned in 30+ years of being a parent to my autistic son." It had a heavy emphasis on dealing with the government, Medicaid, Supplemental Income, and various Michigan-specific laws meant to help people with disabilities earn money and save money. This was helpful for the parents that did show up, both of them quite new to the autism world, and both struggling to get Medicaid and the services that come with it. I'd personally heard most of it before, but was able to add in a few tidbits here and there. Sometimes I learn things about the parents' struggles, or new and interesting options for treatment, and that's almost as valuable as being able to help out the parents directly.
This coming week's events include lots of preparation for Labor Day weekend (I'm going to run an extra long game of Dungeons and Dragons, most likely, which means lots and lots of preparation), dinner with visiting family, and the monthly Chore-palooza. Chris and I tend to save the larger chores for the first day of the month, or the Saturday nearest that day, and then do those chores together. This is much more to his preference than mine: I tend to believe you should just do the chores ASAP, without requiring other people to help you or work alongside you. But Chris' upbringing was very different, and so I've had to compromise between my optimal work schedule and his. It's working, mostly.
The Slow Decline of an Apartment Complex
There's a good argument for the latter, at least. I haven't made a huge stink about it anywhere, but I'm watching the apartment complex I live in slowly deteriorating. When Chris and I moved in, the lawns were green and well-kept, though not pristine. The buildings showed some wear, but weren't falling apart. All the trees were alive and seemed to be thriving. The landscaping was neat and tidy. The neighborhood was quiet, even during the summer with the kids out of school. People would come through with trash-pickers every month or so, to keep the place tidy. It wasn't paradise, of course, but it was a pretty decent place to live.So naturally, all of that had to change. I noticed the noise level increasing around the 1 year mark. People seemed to suddenly consider it perfectly acceptable to yell conversations across the parking lot at midnight, blast their car stereos at any hour, and not chastise their children for howling like banshees in the morning. This was awful for my attempts to sleep, focus, and relax, naturally. My brain doesn't politely tune out stupid people yelling across parking lots, it considers that information just as relevant as the book I'm trying to read, or the music I'm trying to listen to.
Next, the grass started getting worn and dying. The edges of the yard areas got more and more ragged and bare. Several of the trees between the buildings died in the windstorms, and began tottering dangerously. Only one of those trees has been removed to date, though a couple more are marked for removal. The outsides of the buildings have gotten shabbier, the roofs missing shingles in places. One really nasty windstorm dropped a massive tree branch onto our neighboring building, which we dutifully reported. The branch proceeded to sit there, ignored, for weeks, until it was replaced by... a tarp. The tarp has now been there for months.
The latest and perhaps most telling sign... is that the apartment complex people apparently no longer care about the lawn at all... because there are weeds everywhere. Most species of grass aren't excessively hardy, and so lawns have to be carefully maintained and herbicides used to keep other plants from invading. This has apparently not occurred anytime recently, and the weeds are taking advantage, popping up everywhere, including in the stony, grass-free area.
I'm really not sure how the apartment manager thinks she's going to get more tenants with things in this state. Especially at the prices they're asking for these units. I can't wait to leave...
A Trip to the Movies
In happier news, I got to go see a movie with Chris last week. We decided to have some together time mid-week, in lieu of my usual Wednesday evening walk with a friend. Due to the kindness of a friend of mine, we only frequent one particular theater, but get free tickets. (We do try to buy concessions, though, since that's mainly where theaters actually make their money.) So we caught an evening showing of The Dark Tower, which is a movie based loosely on a novel series by Stephen King. I was unfamiliar with King's writing and the novel series, so I was able to enjoy the movie somewhat. (Apparently the movie, like many book adaptations, ticked off the book's fans.)Chris mainly wanted to see it for the gun-kata (fancy gunplay tricks and fighting). There was some of that, especially at the end of the movie. But it wasn't really over-the-top, and the movie itself, while set in a fantastic world, was somewhat grim. It did end "happily" at least, so we didn't walk out of the theater bummed and crabby. Well, I did, but that's because one of our fellow movie-goers thought it was a good idea to vape inside the theater. Turns out even if the smoke is pretty-smelling and presumably non-toxic, it still makes my throat close up. I am now firmly of the opinion that you should always smoke outside, regardless of what you're smoking, and I will literally miss part of my movie to not experience that again.
The movie itself mostly left me with a curiosity about that fantasy world in general. I picked up the first book in the series after a couple days, but it read like a fever dream... and a vulgar one at that. I'm unsure of whether this book is indicative of the rest of Stephen King's books, or whether it was merely one of his early works that... perhaps didn't get enough polish. Or perhaps this is simply a writing style I flatly dislike and thousands of other people love. Either way, the movie made for an interesting night out together.
Chris noticed my unhappiness with the smoke and decided we should get drinks to help my throat at a nearby restaurant. So we sat for half an hour or so and ate an appetizer and sipped water and other things, and that was a nice place to discuss the movie and just be together.
Supporting the Parents at ASK
The last event of note this week was my monthly trip to the parent support group for Autism Support of Kent County. It's not that I'm a parent or am likely to be one, that's not why I go. It's that going through the difficulties of raising a kid on the spectrum can really narrow your focus, making you blind to viewpoints other than your own. And it can make you lose hope, with things being so difficult. So the parent support group is there to help develop connections between parents, educate all attendees on various local services and options, and in general be a supportive, safe place for parents of kids with autism to talk about their problems.I attend this group in order to provide what I tend to see as "the missing perspective" in these discussions... that is, the kid's perspective. If you don't have autism, you are going to have a hard time understanding what's going on with your kid, even if you document what's going on, read tons of books and research, and try your best. And your kid can't necessarily tell you, either. I suspect that I was fairly uncommunicative growing up, and I was seemingly fully verbal. (I say "seemingly" because while I could absolutely read a book and tell you what it was about, I was extremely more dense about what was going on in my life, what my emotional status was, and what things would be "fun.")
Attendance this month was pretty slim, with just a couple parents, a visitor from the YMCA program, and one of the regular ASK board members. The board member gave a presentation, roughly themed around, "What I've learned in 30+ years of being a parent to my autistic son." It had a heavy emphasis on dealing with the government, Medicaid, Supplemental Income, and various Michigan-specific laws meant to help people with disabilities earn money and save money. This was helpful for the parents that did show up, both of them quite new to the autism world, and both struggling to get Medicaid and the services that come with it. I'd personally heard most of it before, but was able to add in a few tidbits here and there. Sometimes I learn things about the parents' struggles, or new and interesting options for treatment, and that's almost as valuable as being able to help out the parents directly.
This coming week's events include lots of preparation for Labor Day weekend (I'm going to run an extra long game of Dungeons and Dragons, most likely, which means lots and lots of preparation), dinner with visiting family, and the monthly Chore-palooza. Chris and I tend to save the larger chores for the first day of the month, or the Saturday nearest that day, and then do those chores together. This is much more to his preference than mine: I tend to believe you should just do the chores ASAP, without requiring other people to help you or work alongside you. But Chris' upbringing was very different, and so I've had to compromise between my optimal work schedule and his. It's working, mostly.
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