Friday, April 19, 2019

WYR: Types of Self-Advocacy

http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2019/02/the-meaning-of-self-advocacy.html

Advocacy comes in a lot of forms.  The kind I do is mostly the socially-acceptable type.  I go through the appropriate channels to speak to the appropriate people.  I politely make an annoyance of myself while asking for change.  Sometimes, this even pans out into actual change. 

I am massively privileged in my ability to do this.  I am, at first glance, a "functional adult," sufficiently "normal," and as such, granted the basic respect most humans give a stranger.  I am fully verbal most days, and my autistic oddities can, on shallow inspection, be shrugged off as simply eccentricities rather than disabilities.  As such, people sometimes listen to me.  What I do is the most acceptable form of self-advocacy. 

The author of this article has clearly led a very different life.  They have experience with institutions, with nonspeaking people, and with oppressive support services.  This makes their words very important to understand. 

"All behavior is communication" is a noteworthy philosophy here.  Babies cry if they're wet or hungry or in pain.  The fact that they have no words for their distress doesn't make it any less communication.  If a child never develops sufficient speaking capabilities to be "normal" that does not impede their ability to communicate.  It only impedes our ability to understand. 

Another note about self-advocacy, and advocacy in general: it generally does not make you friends.  This is even true with the most polite self-advocacy that I do.

Most recently, I advocated for myself, the restaurant workers, and my family, when I found us in an excessively loud restaurant environment.  I measured the sound levels in the room and found they were around 90 decibels.  Also known as "gives you hearing loss in less than 2 hours" ranges.  Now, this was vastly unpleasant to me, so I put in earplugs... but my family couldn't hear each other talk... and the restaurant workers would naturally have shifts longer than 2 hours, so they're pretty much doomed to hearing loss. 

The waitress appreciated my concern, but her manager really didn't.  So I'm sitting there wishing I could just melt into the floor, and the guy is explaining to me that the restaurant environment is "important" and other peoples' enjoyments matter also.  I have a hard time making an ass of myself on purpose, but I really should have.  The noise level really didn't drop much at all after I complained. 

Can you imagine if I'd instead had a meltdown at the table?  Bet it would have dropped the noise level really really fast, with all those people stopping their conversations to stare, and the musicians pausing their routine to to do same.  But the interruption would likely have only been temporary, with my family being asked to leave, I'm sure.  Still, if the reason was known (for example, if I was screaming "it's too loud!" repeatedly), it might make people think. 

Both methods are self-advocacy.  One is distinctly less socially-acceptable than the other, but both are valid forms of communication.  They don't become invalid just because someone refuses to listen to them, or doesn't understand. 

Please, read this article and its examples of advocacy.  If you have nonspeaking or low-verbal people in your life, consider their behaviors in the light of self-advocacy.  

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