What Every Autistic Girl Wishes Her Parents Knew, edited by Emily Paige Ballou, Kristina Thomas, and Sharon daVanport, is a collection of essays by adult autistic women, answering the implied question of the book's title. I found a recommendation for this book online, and had to order it from the statewide library system so that I could read it.
In short, it was worth the effort. This is a fantastic book and I consider it required reading for any parent of an autistic child.
I was initially somewhat suspicious, as it is wise to be, of this book which claims to speak for autistic women. Autism, as I've tried to express in entries past, is a very complicated, multifaceted, and unpredictable condition. The saying is, "if you've met one person with autism, you met one person with autism." (Attributed to Dr. Stephen Shore)
However, my fears were unfounded when it came to this book. Certainly not all pieces of advice and promptings here apply to every autistic child, or even every autistic girl... but in large part, the book proscribes broad ideas (like assuming competency and capacity, teaching and setting boundaries, allowing for autonomy, and letting the person grow at their own pace). These ideas are, frankly, a good plan for any autistic person, not just a female one. That said, the book does address some specifically female issues, such as makeup, feminine clothing, periods, and boundaries in a sexual context.
To my astonishment, it also addressed issues of gender and sexual orientation. This book was published about a year ago in 2017, but given how incredibly hetereosexual-centric and cisgender-centric most of the literature on autism is, I was not expecting such subjects to be addressed, let alone discussed in any reasonable fashion. But one of these essays was written by an autistic trans woman, who I was both grateful to learn more about and saddened by her difficult experiences.
That's not all that made this book stand out, though. Much of the autism literature that is written by autistic people is written by people like me: so-called "high functioning," verbal autistics that can pass as neurotypical most days, in most contexts. This book specifically includes a couple essays from "high needs" and "non-speaking" autistic women. These are people who would otherwise be relegated to institutions, but due to hard work and help, are able to live independently and bring help into their own homes as they need. And they have some very strong things to say about institutions, things I wouldn't have dreamed of considering. If the entire book was only those essays, I would still insist this be required reading for any parent of an autistic child.
The essays in this book come in a variety of arrangements, from letters to bullet points amidst paragraphs to labeled sections covering topics. This is also the only book I've ever read where the introduction is just as valuable as the rest of the book. I know some people skip the introduction, preface, foreword, etc. I never do, but if you do, please please read the introduction anyway. It's worth it. It summarizes a major point, that there's a place for each autistic person no matter what their capabilities and personality, in a very powerful way.
All in all, this book goes on my wishlist and on my bookshelf permanently. I cried over a few sections of it, because of the familiarity and because in so many ways, it's what I wish my parents had known when they were raising me. It's a primer in how to raise an autistic child the right way, not specific steps so much as broad ideas from which to create those specific steps. I can't recommend this book highly enough.
In short, it was worth the effort. This is a fantastic book and I consider it required reading for any parent of an autistic child.
I was initially somewhat suspicious, as it is wise to be, of this book which claims to speak for autistic women. Autism, as I've tried to express in entries past, is a very complicated, multifaceted, and unpredictable condition. The saying is, "if you've met one person with autism, you met one person with autism." (Attributed to Dr. Stephen Shore)
However, my fears were unfounded when it came to this book. Certainly not all pieces of advice and promptings here apply to every autistic child, or even every autistic girl... but in large part, the book proscribes broad ideas (like assuming competency and capacity, teaching and setting boundaries, allowing for autonomy, and letting the person grow at their own pace). These ideas are, frankly, a good plan for any autistic person, not just a female one. That said, the book does address some specifically female issues, such as makeup, feminine clothing, periods, and boundaries in a sexual context.
To my astonishment, it also addressed issues of gender and sexual orientation. This book was published about a year ago in 2017, but given how incredibly hetereosexual-centric and cisgender-centric most of the literature on autism is, I was not expecting such subjects to be addressed, let alone discussed in any reasonable fashion. But one of these essays was written by an autistic trans woman, who I was both grateful to learn more about and saddened by her difficult experiences.
That's not all that made this book stand out, though. Much of the autism literature that is written by autistic people is written by people like me: so-called "high functioning," verbal autistics that can pass as neurotypical most days, in most contexts. This book specifically includes a couple essays from "high needs" and "non-speaking" autistic women. These are people who would otherwise be relegated to institutions, but due to hard work and help, are able to live independently and bring help into their own homes as they need. And they have some very strong things to say about institutions, things I wouldn't have dreamed of considering. If the entire book was only those essays, I would still insist this be required reading for any parent of an autistic child.
The essays in this book come in a variety of arrangements, from letters to bullet points amidst paragraphs to labeled sections covering topics. This is also the only book I've ever read where the introduction is just as valuable as the rest of the book. I know some people skip the introduction, preface, foreword, etc. I never do, but if you do, please please read the introduction anyway. It's worth it. It summarizes a major point, that there's a place for each autistic person no matter what their capabilities and personality, in a very powerful way.
All in all, this book goes on my wishlist and on my bookshelf permanently. I cried over a few sections of it, because of the familiarity and because in so many ways, it's what I wish my parents had known when they were raising me. It's a primer in how to raise an autistic child the right way, not specific steps so much as broad ideas from which to create those specific steps. I can't recommend this book highly enough.
Read This Book If
You're the parent of any autistic person, even if that person isn't female. The contributors of the essays in this collection have powerful and important things to say to you, and you need to hear them. Fellow autistic people like myself, professionals, and educators will also find this book valuable in their quests to engage with the autism community and help autistic people grow and be who we should be. Honestly, if I could make everyone in the world stop and read this book, I would.
No comments:
Post a Comment