Party Planning for Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum: How to Avoid Meltdowns and Have Fun!, by Kate E. Reynolds.
This book managed to annoy me right off the bat by starting off on a very negative note, first citing "Rain Man," and then saying that many people on the autism spectrum have low IQ scores without mentioning how limited IQ is, as a measure of intelligence. For anyone that doesn't already know... IQ, or Intelligence Quotient, is much less a measure of a person's intelligence and much more a measure of their ability to learn in a standard school setting, using regular teaching methods. One might summarize a high IQ score as "good book learning intelligence."
There are many kinds of intelligence, not the least of which is emotional intelligence. Other kinds include street smarts/common sense, organizational ability, creative ability, and self-awareness. Many of these are much more difficult to test on paper or in a controlled setting than book smarts, so they're often overlooked. Which is unfortunate, because IQ is really only helpful in school. After that, having a high IQ is pretty much just an ego booster and you need all those other kinds to succeed in life. As such, it peeves me a great deal to see the author insisting that IQ is the division between so-called "high functioning" and "low functioning" people on the spectrum.
It also focuses very heavily on the negative aspects of autism, ie, our difficulties that should be addressed, without giving much thought to balancing all the negativity with positive things. That's an understandable mentality as a parent, but it's brutal for the kid, always focusing on all your failures and weaknesses and inadequacies without ever mentioning the strengths we also have.
But I shouldn't judge the book by its first chapter, probably... (four hours later) Nope I was right, it's pretty much like that all the way through. Ugh.
I get it. Really, I do. You don't want your kid scaring off other kids with their oddnesses, because you want them to have friends and get as much social experience as possible. You want us to have as normal of lives as possible. So push, push, push against those weaknesses, keep them in mind at all times, coach your kid with strategies to address them. Sure.
But y'know what happens if you only do that? You get depressed, resentful kids. You get low self-esteem, and the mentality that the greatest indicator of our success as people is how well we interact socially. Does that seem smart to you? To define yourself by your weaknesses and your failures? It shouldn't. You need to balance all that negativity with positivity. Celebrate and embrace the child's special interests. Tell them you love them regardless of how well they're doing. Try to see things from their perspective. Enough of us already suffer from depression, don't make it worse.
My ranting aside here... as a party planning book, this book is adequate. It has lots of activity suggestions and commentary on the particular age ranges and developmental levels of autism. I'm... not sure how accurate the latter things are, but it's not like I knew I had autism when I was those ages.
In any case, the suggestions seemed good, if overly focused on skill development rather than fun. This book was written by a mother, and she's clearly consulted with a lot of other parents and probably professionals for creating this guidebook.
This book managed to annoy me right off the bat by starting off on a very negative note, first citing "Rain Man," and then saying that many people on the autism spectrum have low IQ scores without mentioning how limited IQ is, as a measure of intelligence. For anyone that doesn't already know... IQ, or Intelligence Quotient, is much less a measure of a person's intelligence and much more a measure of their ability to learn in a standard school setting, using regular teaching methods. One might summarize a high IQ score as "good book learning intelligence."
There are many kinds of intelligence, not the least of which is emotional intelligence. Other kinds include street smarts/common sense, organizational ability, creative ability, and self-awareness. Many of these are much more difficult to test on paper or in a controlled setting than book smarts, so they're often overlooked. Which is unfortunate, because IQ is really only helpful in school. After that, having a high IQ is pretty much just an ego booster and you need all those other kinds to succeed in life. As such, it peeves me a great deal to see the author insisting that IQ is the division between so-called "high functioning" and "low functioning" people on the spectrum.
It also focuses very heavily on the negative aspects of autism, ie, our difficulties that should be addressed, without giving much thought to balancing all the negativity with positive things. That's an understandable mentality as a parent, but it's brutal for the kid, always focusing on all your failures and weaknesses and inadequacies without ever mentioning the strengths we also have.
But I shouldn't judge the book by its first chapter, probably... (four hours later) Nope I was right, it's pretty much like that all the way through. Ugh.
I get it. Really, I do. You don't want your kid scaring off other kids with their oddnesses, because you want them to have friends and get as much social experience as possible. You want us to have as normal of lives as possible. So push, push, push against those weaknesses, keep them in mind at all times, coach your kid with strategies to address them. Sure.
But y'know what happens if you only do that? You get depressed, resentful kids. You get low self-esteem, and the mentality that the greatest indicator of our success as people is how well we interact socially. Does that seem smart to you? To define yourself by your weaknesses and your failures? It shouldn't. You need to balance all that negativity with positivity. Celebrate and embrace the child's special interests. Tell them you love them regardless of how well they're doing. Try to see things from their perspective. Enough of us already suffer from depression, don't make it worse.
My ranting aside here... as a party planning book, this book is adequate. It has lots of activity suggestions and commentary on the particular age ranges and developmental levels of autism. I'm... not sure how accurate the latter things are, but it's not like I knew I had autism when I was those ages.
In any case, the suggestions seemed good, if overly focused on skill development rather than fun. This book was written by a mother, and she's clearly consulted with a lot of other parents and probably professionals for creating this guidebook.
Read This Book If
You need to plan a party for a child or teen on the autism spectrum. Really, that's the theme of the book, and that's pretty much the only reason I'd recommend it. It brings nothing new, philosophically, to the table, and in fact has some very negative and inaccurate viewpoints in the introduction and sprinkled throughout. But it does definitely fulfill its main purpose, so if you need a guide for that, here it is.
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