Eek, Christmas is coming. I feel rather unprepared, though at least for core family, that isn't the case. I did some serious work on presents for my side of the family a few days after we got back. Chris and I are handling presents such that I buy for my side of the family and he buys for his, and we consult only as needed. It's very efficient, but probably hinders in getting to know our new families a bit.
I had it pretty easy this year. My family has started using a site called CheckedTwice for their wishlists. It's a little more exclusive than I'd prefer, which is to say you can't look at a wishlist on their site unless you've gotten an account on their website and then been invited to look at said wishlist. But unlike a regular wishlist, you can claim a present on the wishlist and everyone (except the owner) will know that you've gotten that present for the person and they should get something else. In short, it resolves the major issue with wishlists: over-giftage. You almost never need two blenders or multiple copies of that new book your wanted. So what do you say when you get a second one? "Oh, uh, thanks for reading my wishlist, someone beat you to the punch. I hope you saved the receipt?"
I have thankfully graceful parents, and they've been kind enough to field conversations just like that every year or so without too much complaint. But ideally this sort of thing doesn't happen at all. You can either give different parts of the family different wishlists and hope they get the things you didn't overlap and really want, to counter this. But then I tend to forget who I asked for what, and don't always get the things I definitely wanted. I much prefer the central wishlist.
It's convenient, too, because when asked what I'd like for my birthday/Christmas, I usually blank and make confused noises while I desperately try to think of anything at all to tell the patiently waiting person. Often I can't think of anything at all, and if I can, it's not an optimal thing to ask for from that person. Like, I might ask for chocolate but that person doesn't even like chocolate and would rather get me something useful for the house, or a book. With the list, I don't have to remember anything, I can just get my tablet out, pull up the list, and go "here, check this."
I think gift giving is usually a lot harder for me, and will still be for the various friends and non-nuclear family I have yet to buy for. Gifts are difficult. You're trying to summarize your friendship/family-ness and affection into a physical thing, and so ideally it should be thoughtful, useful, and lasting. I think I've managed that combination exactly once for a friend, and it was because they apparently didn't want to buy the thing themselves and happened to mention it in passing on a social media site.
All other presents I've managed tend to be more along the lines of "here's something I'm pretty sure you'll like but is consumable because I don't want to clutter your living space," or "hey, this was cool, hope you don't mind it's clutter-potential..." I wish everyone would make wishlists and post them where I can find and use them. Like Facebook, but for wishlists? I dunno, I can dream, right?
I had it pretty easy this year. My family has started using a site called CheckedTwice for their wishlists. It's a little more exclusive than I'd prefer, which is to say you can't look at a wishlist on their site unless you've gotten an account on their website and then been invited to look at said wishlist. But unlike a regular wishlist, you can claim a present on the wishlist and everyone (except the owner) will know that you've gotten that present for the person and they should get something else. In short, it resolves the major issue with wishlists: over-giftage. You almost never need two blenders or multiple copies of that new book your wanted. So what do you say when you get a second one? "Oh, uh, thanks for reading my wishlist, someone beat you to the punch. I hope you saved the receipt?"
I have thankfully graceful parents, and they've been kind enough to field conversations just like that every year or so without too much complaint. But ideally this sort of thing doesn't happen at all. You can either give different parts of the family different wishlists and hope they get the things you didn't overlap and really want, to counter this. But then I tend to forget who I asked for what, and don't always get the things I definitely wanted. I much prefer the central wishlist.
It's convenient, too, because when asked what I'd like for my birthday/Christmas, I usually blank and make confused noises while I desperately try to think of anything at all to tell the patiently waiting person. Often I can't think of anything at all, and if I can, it's not an optimal thing to ask for from that person. Like, I might ask for chocolate but that person doesn't even like chocolate and would rather get me something useful for the house, or a book. With the list, I don't have to remember anything, I can just get my tablet out, pull up the list, and go "here, check this."
I think gift giving is usually a lot harder for me, and will still be for the various friends and non-nuclear family I have yet to buy for. Gifts are difficult. You're trying to summarize your friendship/family-ness and affection into a physical thing, and so ideally it should be thoughtful, useful, and lasting. I think I've managed that combination exactly once for a friend, and it was because they apparently didn't want to buy the thing themselves and happened to mention it in passing on a social media site.
All other presents I've managed tend to be more along the lines of "here's something I'm pretty sure you'll like but is consumable because I don't want to clutter your living space," or "hey, this was cool, hope you don't mind it's clutter-potential..." I wish everyone would make wishlists and post them where I can find and use them. Like Facebook, but for wishlists? I dunno, I can dream, right?
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