Hey folks? Raising special-needs kids is really hard. We all know this. Sometimes people need extra support to manage the task, like therapy, scheduled self-care time, respite services. That is okay, and normal.
Sometimes, people simply aren't equipped with the resources they need to raise a child. That's less normal, but it does happen. In that case, the correct response is to contact an agency that's experienced in handling these things... not to hand your child off to some random people on the Internet.
This is apparently horrifyingly easy to accomplish, thanks to the convenience of the Internet. And naturally, the folks often looking to receive children this way aren't... exactly... star parent material.
Here's a summary of an investigation into one child's experience with "rehoming" from Reuters, plus significantly more data from one online marketplace. While the article mainly focuses on children adopted from overseas, the majority of the children "rehomed" like unwanted dogs and cats had some form of listed special needs... and the vast majority of the rest didn't come with any data on the subject. Personally, I'd bet at least half of the "unlisted" children had some form of neurological difference or mental illness.
I don't think I should have to say this, but: children are not pets. They are not ornaments to boost your status. There's a word for treating children like this, and that word is "monstrous."
There are reasons for the laws and red tape that guard the process of giving a child up for adoption, and it's to prevent those children from becoming trafficked into the sex industry, abused by people unfit to care for even animals, or even being murdered and simply disappearing.
If you, or someone you know, is overwhelmed by the task of parenting someone with autism, special needs, etc, that's okay. There are options available to you.
In Michigan, you can get help through your local Community Mental Health. They can provide respite care and help you get support services for yourself and your child. If you adopted, the agency that helped you adopt will likely have some supports to help. For example, Adoptions From The Heart has this page and Adopt US Kids has this one. Michigan also has an organization called MARE that provides resources as well as arranging for adoptions.
MARE also has links to resources in other US states here, and for traveling military members. You may also receive assistance here.
Please remember that needing help raising a child is not failure, it is life. The saying is "it takes a village to raise a child," and most of us these days don't have social circles as wide as a whole village. Seek these resources to support yourself and your child(ren), and recommend them to people who are struggling.
Sometimes, people simply aren't equipped with the resources they need to raise a child. That's less normal, but it does happen. In that case, the correct response is to contact an agency that's experienced in handling these things... not to hand your child off to some random people on the Internet.
This is apparently horrifyingly easy to accomplish, thanks to the convenience of the Internet. And naturally, the folks often looking to receive children this way aren't... exactly... star parent material.
Here's a summary of an investigation into one child's experience with "rehoming" from Reuters, plus significantly more data from one online marketplace. While the article mainly focuses on children adopted from overseas, the majority of the children "rehomed" like unwanted dogs and cats had some form of listed special needs... and the vast majority of the rest didn't come with any data on the subject. Personally, I'd bet at least half of the "unlisted" children had some form of neurological difference or mental illness.
I don't think I should have to say this, but: children are not pets. They are not ornaments to boost your status. There's a word for treating children like this, and that word is "monstrous."
There are reasons for the laws and red tape that guard the process of giving a child up for adoption, and it's to prevent those children from becoming trafficked into the sex industry, abused by people unfit to care for even animals, or even being murdered and simply disappearing.
If you, or someone you know, is overwhelmed by the task of parenting someone with autism, special needs, etc, that's okay. There are options available to you.
In Michigan, you can get help through your local Community Mental Health. They can provide respite care and help you get support services for yourself and your child. If you adopted, the agency that helped you adopt will likely have some supports to help. For example, Adoptions From The Heart has this page and Adopt US Kids has this one. Michigan also has an organization called MARE that provides resources as well as arranging for adoptions.
MARE also has links to resources in other US states here, and for traveling military members. You may also receive assistance here.
Please remember that needing help raising a child is not failure, it is life. The saying is "it takes a village to raise a child," and most of us these days don't have social circles as wide as a whole village. Seek these resources to support yourself and your child(ren), and recommend them to people who are struggling.
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