Friday, June 16, 2017

Book Review: How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me

As a foreword...  if you need immediate assistance, please call 1-800-784-2433, or 1-800-SUICIDE.  People who care and want to listen to you are standing by, 24 hours a day. 

How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention, by Susan Rose Blauner.

The title pretty much sums up this book.  I snagged this off the library's bookshelf because I recognized the title from a library job I'd worked almost a decade ago, which tells you that this book is far from recent.  The information inside, therefore, may be somewhat dated, but the hotline at the top of this entry is still going strong. While this book does not directly relate to autism, families with autistic people often undergo a lot of stress and conflict, which can lead to depression, which can lead to suicidal thoughts and even actions.  The autistic individual in particular often develops depression, anxiety, or both. 

I had a hard time reading this book, as I've never been seriously suicidal and no one I know has lost their life to suicide as of yet.  So I connected with some of the book's contents, but not all of it.  The author talks a lot about being very angry and very sad, and about despair.  I sympathized with those, and I think most people do.  I've never gotten beyond that point, though, to where the pain and fury builds past where you can handle it, day in and day out, warping your perspective until suicide seems like a viable option. 

Despite my lack of experience,  I do firmly believe this is a very important book.  It was one of the first "self advocate" style books I'm aware of.  The author is not a doctor or some trained professional, she is literally a formerly suicidal person who has worked through enough of her issues and retrained enough of her brain, that she no longer hurts enough or is angry enough to find suicide an option to her problems.  And she is quite honest about it, in hopes that her life and her suffering will help other people find their way to where she's gotten.

Explained in this book are the author's history, which includes several suicidal "gestures," as she calls them.  She tells you what she was thinking (and not thinking), and what happened.  She summarizes her years of therapy, gives you her list of Tricks of the Trade (things she learned that help), and will help you make Crisis Plans for yourself or your loved one.  She even includes honest letters from her relatives and friends about that period of time in her life.  Peppered throughout are pieces of relevant poetry and songs. 

The first four sections of the book are geared towards helping a suicidal thinker, as I mentioned.  The fifth section is for both suicidal thinkers and their concerned friends/family, and includes a section for how to talk to people considering suicide, statistics, and warning signs.  When I was reading this particular section, my gut started screaming at me to write an email to one of my friends, so I did so, using some of the language in this book.  Turns out he was having a really bad time that day, and the email helped make it a bit better.

The last section of this book is a series of resources, divided up by all kinds of categories.  As the writer is from the United States, most of these sources are located there, but there is a section for Canada hotlines as well.  There are also books, and sources for young people, old people, professionals, and survivors. 

Read This Book If

 You, or anyone you know is considering suicide.  There are many many misconceptions about suicide in popular culture, and this book will help clear them up, as well as give you tools and ideas to work on the subject.  Whether you're very young or very old, this book has something to offer you.  And again, if you need immediate assistance, please call 1-800-784-2433, or 1-800-SUICIDE.

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